Saturday, August 07, 2010

It's late

....And I'm REALLY missing my Mom. :( This whole day has been kind of ummm bad for me! My fault though, I've just been very short with everyone and rather rude to those I love most. :( Tonight we went to a Relay For Life benefit thing and we were just part of the volleyball tournament...anyway, as I walked around the track and read all the names of local people who have died from cancer, I just couldn't get my Mom off my mind. :( Then on the way home I heard a song that my friend Mandy sang that was written for my Mom, and then after that another song that was at my Mom's funeral.'s just been rough. I miss her SOO much! ;( As the wedding is getting closer and closer (3 weeks away) I'm wanting her here even more. With all this wedding planning it's like this HUGE part of my life is missing and it shows in all I do I feel like. How I would have loved to plan this wedding with her help, and have her there at the shower on Sunday, and her there to be escorted down the aisle at the wedding and to witness me marrying the love of my life, Aaron.

All the wishing in the world won't change that though. So I better just pray and let God fill that missing part...I'm trying, really I am, just seems about impossible. Still everytime I miss her like hurts so bad, like someone is stabbing me. Emotional pain is worse than physical I think....

Please just pray for me...and for Aaron and me as we seek to keep the Lord first in everything, but as the wedding draws near, small details seem to get in the way and distract my focus.

Thanks!! Goodnight!