Why does this have to be so hard? Every day this week my mind has drifted to my Mom and I just feel like I can't bear it. It hurts so much...because I love her and miss her. The Lord has been so good to get us through this, but he didn't promise me there would be no pain...I wish, but it's not that way. Before my Mom was sick, we started filming a movie my sister and I wrote. We didn't know the plot would be so real to us. Just today I went back to the website for the movie and read the comments left on our guestbook. That's when I found this from my Mom...
Well, girls, what can I say? I am so pleased that you are choosing to honor God with your time this summer. I think this film truly carries an evangelistic message and with the single purpose of turning people's hearts toward the Lord, I believe that God will honor your commitment to Him in this endeavor. I think your cast is wonderful and it has been a real pleasure to work with them. I thank God daily for the shining example you both are of His love. Keep working until Jesus comes to take us home.
Oh, I can't handle this....We didn't know that one of us would be going home so quickly...she doesn't get to see the finished product of our movie...I'm not sure I'll even be capable of filming and playing in the rest.
I love the memories of my Mom, but right now it hurts. I went to get a recipie and found one my Mom had written. Even the sight of her handwriting makes me miss her.
The Lord will be faithful to get me through this, I will trust in that and God will be my stronghold.
-Danielle
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
More Ice and Lots of Fun!
I know...I haven't posted anything for a long time. I've been wanting to write, but I wanted even more to post pictures and I finally have some!
Around Friday all of our ice had melted and then on Saturday night it started up again! We were at a birthday party for Hannah Hunt and it started snowing hard and fast...I wasn't excited. I have had my fill for snow for the year. On Sunday church was at the Tate's house, but we were the only family to show up. The roads were too bad for everyone else, I guess.
We had a short service and then had a meal together. After that all of us went outside
to build a snowman. Right as we were starting though, Gorden started throwing snowballs at us all. We should have all expected it though. :) So, we stopped making our snowman and instead had a snowball fight. Even with my hurt knee, I was able to do it, I just couldn't get away fast enough, so I got hit a lot with snowballs! :)Once we started our snowman, it seemed like it was going well. We had him 4 stories high, and then Gorden wanted to keep going higher, and higher, and higher. TOO HIGH! Our snowman never got a face because he finally fell over. Then it was time to start over. :)
This time he only had 3 parts and looked more traditional. Instead of a carrot nose th
ough, he had somewhat of a snout
. For eyes, we used Mandy's sunglasses and twigs for a smile, Oh yeah, and two leaves for eyebrows. I think he was pretty cute! It was a lot of fun to build him too.After that someone suggested that we go sledding. So, Lora, John Paul, Gorden and me went to a nearby hill. It's been a long time since I've been sledding, so I was a little scared. It was a lot of fun though. I really enjoyed it. The worst part was climbing up the hill after going down it. It really loosened up my knee though. I found that I use it a lot more when I need to. Maybe I don't need that doctors appointment tomorrow after all.
Well, I really do need to go. It's getting late and I need to upload the photos! Enjoy...and I promise to write more later.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Lots of Ice
Well, all of our family is gone and they left just in time to get back. Their flight was at 5:00 and the airport in St. Louis closed at 7:00. They were predicting an ice storm and yes, we got it! :) At first it was neat, but now I am pretty much tired of it. It has caused more problems to be a blessing.
On Saturday, David and I went outside to work on our shed and we noticed lots of trees down in our yard. One actually fell on our trampoline and broke it. They are down all over though. The weight of the ice is too much and snaps the branches. I'm sure it will be lots of work once it has all thawed and we have to pick up the yard.
Then yesterday morning, Papa Jim, called on his cell phone and said that his power was out. It had gone out in the middle of the night. So, he came to stay with us. And then around 6:00pm our power went out also. We found out that there are millions of people without power right now. I'm thankful though, because David has a generator. It doesnt light up the whole house but it does do some, which is nice. We had Bob and Angela over yesterday evening so they just decided to stay the night, since they probably wouldn't have power when they got home anyway.
We woke up this morning to still no power and a minorly flooded basement. About after an hour, the power did come back on though. Praise God! When David went to take his Dad back home, his power was still not on. Then he checked the basement and it was standing in water. When the power goes out here, the sump pump will usually turn off which means the basement floods. There is something else that plays into it, but I'm not sure what it is. This is the second time for his basement to be redone. I feel very bad for him. It's such a nice house and then basement was only finished 2 years ago.
Hopefully the ice will melt soon and Spring can come early! I'm excited to see what this year holds!
Friday, January 12, 2007
The Lord's Grace
It has been one week now since my mom has passed away. I guess it seems like longer since our days have been so long. I wanted to write though, to say how merciful the Lord has been to us. This whole week should have been a time for mourning, but he has gotten us through with his grace. I won't lie, I have been sad, but I haven't really dwelled on the issue too much. This could be a result of our company also...I guess. We had friends from Kentucky and California here. It was hard to see them go, because I thought for sure they were what was keeping our minds clear. But it's been okay, they are gone, and we are doing fine. Praise God!
Thank you everyone who has posted such encouraging comments. I do really appreciate all of the prayers and support you have all given. Even though, you don't know my Mom (most of you) I thought I would still post her Memorial Page. Mem.com and type in Carter. Her name was Peri Carter so you will have to scroll for awhile or click on 20. (You will know what I mean when you get there!) My mother was a blessing to many and an encouragement to all. We will never forget her.
Here is a copy of what I read at the funeral. The Lord was so gracious to get me through it. Here it is:
My Dad asked me to write something for the funeral today, so I am going to try my best to get through this. Growing up, my Mom and I were so close. Since I was little we did lots of things to bond together. She would rub my arm and we would just sit and talk for hours. I was her princess, at least she said I was. Actually, I believed I was my Mom’s favorite. Not until I was 16 did my Mom tell me that she told all of us kids that. I still like to believe I was though.
Through the last 5 years I have seen my Mom’s faith grow in more ways then one. When I was 14 my Mom made the major decision to take us out of public school and homeschool us. Even though she was a working Mom, she knew it was the right thing to take us out of school. I know it was scary for her, not knowing if it would work. But she in faith, did it, and knew that the Lord would work it all out. And he did. Then just a few years later my Mom told us the news about her getting married. I know I gave her so much opposition, but believing that God would work everything out, she married him anyway. ☺ We are all so greatful that she did. She also agreed to the decision of quitting her job. As most of you know, my Mom was really tight with her money, so quitting her job was a big step. We cut our income 60%, but my Mom knew that the Lord would take care of us, like he had before.
Then in August when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer, she once again put her faith to the test. She didn’t want chemo and radiation or surgery, because she believed like us that God would heal her without it. Through the first months, I actually went to her scared, of what may happen, but she assured me that everything would be okay no matter what happened. She knew if she died she would go to heaven and that didn’t scare her. I just had to have faith that God could heal her, having this faith, gave me hope. That was the whole reason for the mustard seed necklaces. Each day I wore it, I knew I was holding onto my faith. I couldn’t give up.
Although, my Mom did pass away, I don’t regret thinking she would be healed at all. I know that if I didn’t have enough faith to give me hope, then I couldn’t have made it through a lot of these rough times. When my Mom died, the first thing that went through my head was, Mom is with Jesus now. It’s what she has always wanted. Now, I just have to suffer with the loss. She will never see me marry, or her grandkids, but these are all vain things, right now I know she is rejoicing in heaven.
I will always miss my Mom and I will always love her. I am so blessed to have been able to take care of her the last few months. It was such a pleasure for me and I got to bond with my Mom in a new way. No more rubbing arms or girly talks, but I could just lay there with her and that was better then anything. Mostly, I will never forget the faith my Mom had. I pray that one day I can be just like her.
Thanks again for the prayers!
Danielle
Thank you everyone who has posted such encouraging comments. I do really appreciate all of the prayers and support you have all given. Even though, you don't know my Mom (most of you) I thought I would still post her Memorial Page. Mem.com and type in Carter. Her name was Peri Carter so you will have to scroll for awhile or click on 20. (You will know what I mean when you get there!) My mother was a blessing to many and an encouragement to all. We will never forget her.
Here is a copy of what I read at the funeral. The Lord was so gracious to get me through it. Here it is:
My Dad asked me to write something for the funeral today, so I am going to try my best to get through this. Growing up, my Mom and I were so close. Since I was little we did lots of things to bond together. She would rub my arm and we would just sit and talk for hours. I was her princess, at least she said I was. Actually, I believed I was my Mom’s favorite. Not until I was 16 did my Mom tell me that she told all of us kids that. I still like to believe I was though.
Through the last 5 years I have seen my Mom’s faith grow in more ways then one. When I was 14 my Mom made the major decision to take us out of public school and homeschool us. Even though she was a working Mom, she knew it was the right thing to take us out of school. I know it was scary for her, not knowing if it would work. But she in faith, did it, and knew that the Lord would work it all out. And he did. Then just a few years later my Mom told us the news about her getting married. I know I gave her so much opposition, but believing that God would work everything out, she married him anyway. ☺ We are all so greatful that she did. She also agreed to the decision of quitting her job. As most of you know, my Mom was really tight with her money, so quitting her job was a big step. We cut our income 60%, but my Mom knew that the Lord would take care of us, like he had before.
Then in August when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer, she once again put her faith to the test. She didn’t want chemo and radiation or surgery, because she believed like us that God would heal her without it. Through the first months, I actually went to her scared, of what may happen, but she assured me that everything would be okay no matter what happened. She knew if she died she would go to heaven and that didn’t scare her. I just had to have faith that God could heal her, having this faith, gave me hope. That was the whole reason for the mustard seed necklaces. Each day I wore it, I knew I was holding onto my faith. I couldn’t give up.
Although, my Mom did pass away, I don’t regret thinking she would be healed at all. I know that if I didn’t have enough faith to give me hope, then I couldn’t have made it through a lot of these rough times. When my Mom died, the first thing that went through my head was, Mom is with Jesus now. It’s what she has always wanted. Now, I just have to suffer with the loss. She will never see me marry, or her grandkids, but these are all vain things, right now I know she is rejoicing in heaven.
I will always miss my Mom and I will always love her. I am so blessed to have been able to take care of her the last few months. It was such a pleasure for me and I got to bond with my Mom in a new way. No more rubbing arms or girly talks, but I could just lay there with her and that was better then anything. Mostly, I will never forget the faith my Mom had. I pray that one day I can be just like her.
Thanks again for the prayers!
Danielle
Friday, January 05, 2007
Going Home
My Mom went to be with Jesus at 12:15 today at home. It was very peaceful and without pain. I will miss her forever and lover her always, but she is where she always wanted to be. It's a short post but I thought you would want to know.
-Danielle
-Danielle
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year!
Finally, it's 2007! This was always supposed to be my year, or so I thought. When I was in public school, I was supposed to graduate in 2007, so I've always known it as my year. Now, that has all changed. I call it my Mom's year! (And of course, Mandy, she will graduate also!) I'm pretty excited to see what this year brings. I was telling David last night that my Mom will either die or live this year...and that's scary. But not long after thinking that I realized it is the same for all of us. I could have died last night, I could die today, or in 3 years. None of us are guaranteed our next breath. Are we all ready to meet our maker? Are things in our lives the way we want to leave them? If the next face you saw was the face of Jesus Christ would you be ready?
Since this year is special to me, we did stay up until midnight to celebrate! We had our crackers and cheese and then our sparkling grape juice. (It's a tradition!) We also had lots of other food, but we were all so full. At midnight we took some pictures and then went to bed--we were wiped out!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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