Monday, August 20, 2007


I'm really struggling right now....I feel like I cant take it anymore. I want to run and forget about this life...about everything! I miss my Mom, so much! If only she was here, sometimes it doesn't feel real, it feels like she will be back here with me, but in reality, she wont! She never will be... and I have to live with that...but I'd rather not.

This is the day last year when my Mom was SO sick....right before we left for Mexico...she almost seemed like she was in a coma, it's sad to me, but that seems better than what I have now. At least she was there, and although she couldn't talk, she could hug me, and squeeze my hand. I dont have any of that now.

I just want this hurt to pass...I feel SO angry at the world...why does all this happen to me? But really there is no reason for it. God chose me to go through this, there HAS to be a plan, I just cant see it. And it hurts.....


Anonymous said...

i may not be in the same position for the same reason, but I too, feel lost and hurt, but beneath it all, I know God has a reason for putting you AND me right where we're at...and it's so frightening and the stuff allowed to come on us and against us is very overwhelming, as others rejoice in our Lord, we just can't find an answer and it hurts!

Danielle said...

Thank you for your encouragement. I know God has a plan...but it hurts not knowing...Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you and your family. I know that it sounds like a trite comment right now, but keep reminding yourself that God IS in control, he WILL work this out for your good and his glory, and most importantly, He knows how you feel, and will always be there for you. Hold to His Unchanging Hand, and find your shelter in the Rock.

Anonymous said...

Girl, I know your pain. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. thats what I had to learn. life sometimes doesn't make sense to us for a reason. God sees the big picture. God sees your life from beginning to end. You are hurt and He understands. He feels the depths of your soul. He created you in every way. Before you were born he knew you and your life's path.(psalm 139)

Do not let the enemy us this to get his power over you. Use this to show God's devine power and His glory. Trials come our way to make us stronger. We ask for wisdom, God puts us in unwise situations to learn. God makes us weak so we learn how to be strong.

Its ok to hurt and to mourn. He is mourning with you because he feels what you feel. Know God has you in the palm of His hand and you are safe to be you. Tell God how you are feeling. If you are angry let him know. He has big shoulders, he can take it. Allow God to heal your heart in his perfect timing. You will be able to help others that are going through the exact same thing. How else would you be able to help others unless you walk through what they are about to.

If that makes sense.
I just stumbled upon this blog, it was God. Know He still absolutly cares about you. and adores you.

Hang in there.
God bless.

Scottie Moser said...

Hey, Danielle. I didn't see this post until today.

I may not be as eloquent as Anonymous, but I wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you, too. I honestly don't know what else to say ... this is so much bigger than anything I've gone through. But God is even bigger, and I know He'll see you through.

Hang in there, sis. The Lord be with you.

— Scottie

Kay said...

Oh Danielle, dear. I love you.

It's different, but Jesus is holding you. Wish I could too. <3

Lora said...

it's "waiting with God in the unplanned place, walking with God at the unplanned pace" that absolutely requires us to rely on God's grace. I think that this right here -- unexplained suffering -- has to be the most difficult part of the Christian life... prayin' for ya!