BIG BELLY!

This might seem like a very odd or even humorous post to many of you, or all of you, but this little was SO special to me, so I had to do a post about her. While I was in Oklahoma I became extremely attached to this puppy, Big Belly. :) Of course, when she was like all the other puppies I paid no special attention to her, but very quickly after I got there, she became so sick. We weren't sure what was going on, at first we just thought she was fat, but as the days went on we noticed she was not fat, but had a very large stomach. My initial thought was she had worms. So, Bethany (Beshu) just gave her some worm medication which would make you think she'd be better, right?? Well, Big Belly didn't get better. She just got larger and larger each day, but the rest of her body got weaker and weaker. It was so sad to see.

I actually ended up calling David and asking him about her and he said he would take her. He told me he wanted a lab puppy and he would take her if I could get her into the vet. Of course all the M's were wondering why in the world we would want the SICK puppy, and my answer was, because she was SO cute, and no one else would want her. I guess I like things that no body likes, and feel sorry for things like that. Oh, one thing you must all know, I am NOT a dog person at all. Not really an animal person very much, but this puppy really got to me. ;(

So, on Saturday after the goat show, I wanted to go up and see Big Belly again, hoping she would be better, because the night before she had actually followed Besh and I outside of the barn and whined for us when we left. It was so sad, so I was hoping she would be feeling better and would be all excited! So, Anna let me take her camera up there so I could get some pictures of her. Well, at first she was acting so cute. She'd pose well and was just so cute. Then after like 10 minutes of pictures, she went back inside the barn and just laid down. It was then that she started looking VERY sick. I was very afraid she would die right there. She was breathing so hard and had her tongue sticking out. Bethany told me she didn't think she would make it and we should go. I lost it then....I thought I might cry if something happened to her, but I never realized it would be so tough for me. I wanted to stay in there with her, but it just got too hard. That's when we went to plant the corn. It was nice though, I had time to just think and cry without anyone seeing. :)

Bethany ended up going back and forth to check on her to see if she had died yet. I really believed she would be dead in like the next 10 minutes. She continued to check though and she was still just laying there. So, after planting we went back up, and this time Caleb and Daniel came up also. I was really thankful that those who were up at the barn with me weren't laughing at me (at least to my face) or just making light of the situation. They seemed very considerate. We all ended up going back inside to search online what it could be. Worm, tumors or something else. We never quite figured it out, but I think it was Caleb that found a site that talked about roundworms. It makes the abdomen very large and there is no "sign" for them when giving them the wormer medication. We tried to rule out tumors so basically we are thinking the roundworms.

Well that night was the night we stayed up so late recording the song, so before going to bed we went back up to check on her. She was still just laying there, new spot this time, and her breathing was much slower..which made me kind of scared. Then when we left the barn that night, she didn't follow and no whining.

Saturday night I didn't sleep like at all. Hope the Morris Family isn't all reading this post, cause I didn't want them to know, but I was very sick that night. That kind of thing has happened to me lots where I'm nervous about something or I don't know, it just happens, so it was kind of normal but I was at lost the whole night what could be making me so nervous or just sick. The only thing I could think was I would be going to their church which meant meeting a lot of new people. :) But, then...I went to check on Big Belly up at the barn. I went by myself this time and as I was walking I got that same feeling again and thought... IF she had died, maybe that's why I was sick, who knows. And when I got up there, there was Big Belly, she was just laying there, in the same spot that I had left her that night before, and she was dead. It was so sad to see her there, not moving. Andrew then came up and saw her there too. He was also very considerate to not make any jokes or say anything to me at that point. I guess somehow Bethany and Anna found out because they came out also. I thought I had all my crying out, but when I went inside it was hard all over again. I ended up calling David and telling him that our puppy had died. He helped me a lot. He had me change my focus. Not to think about her dying but of all the good things, the blessings...like all the time I was able to spend with such a cute puppy and being able to get the pictures. Those were the times that were good. :) So that helped me a lot. I still wish so much that she would have lived. She would have been the cutest dog I think.


Elijah and Andrew buried her I think and then the day after I left Bethany made this memorial stone thing for her. She did a great job and I was happy to see pictures of it!
Okay, so you all might be laughing right now, I guess I can't explain why she was so special to me and why I had such a hard time with her dying. To be honest, I just have a hard time with death I think. Anything or anyone dying is hard for me. Makes me think of that part of my Mom and I don't want to remember her dying. And then it makes me just think that EVERYTHING dies in my life...Everything is here for such a short time, and that's hard for me.