Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Missing Her...

Today I am missing her a lot, it really started this afternoon, but for some reason has just continued all through the evening. Some of these reasons will sound so weird to all of you but it all sort of tied together. First Mandy and I went to a Chinese buffet for lunch and I had already been thinking about her and then I saw this one stuff (egg fo-young) sp? and it was my Mom's favorite chinese dish. Each time we would get Chinese food she would order that, and well, I don't think I've seen it since the last time she ordered it. I know that sounds weird but even something as small as that made me pretty upset. I knew I had to go to work after eating but I just wanted to go home and be by myself. Then on our way to work this song came on and it's from a soundtrack that my Mom absolutely loved. I haven't heard this song for like So many years, but I should have known something like that would have played. At work the name "Perry" came up for me to call, so even though it isn't HER name, it was just too much for me. I was praying he wouldn't answer and thankfully he didn't. Well then next name for me to call was "Kyle Campbell" and Campbell was my Mom's maiden name. It seems like I can't get away from it all tonight.

Yesterday I got this really nice email from a friend. She was friends with my Mom growing up and emails me now. She has no idea how much I love hearing from her about things having to do with my Mom. But yesterday she wrote and said, " I must tell you when I pulled up the most recent photos of your trip; I would have thought time stood still and I was looking at your mother; you are an identical face of her and heart."

Maybe because of this email is why she has been on my mind so much, or maybe because August is coming up and well, that's when my Mom was diagnosed. I'm not really sure, but I know it's hard. I guess I should stop talking about it, otherwise this will be another night of crying myself to sleep.......ahh... :(

Well to update you all on my Mom's movie ILLEGAL HOPE, the movie premiere will be on August 23rd in Orange, CA. David Ingrassano is flying Mandy and I out there for that weekend to be there. I am pretty excited about this. It will be so nice to have this movie and I know my Mom would be very pleased. May God get all the glory from the film! To see more about the movie click HERE

I hope some of this makes a little sense, as I'm writing to get all this out I have Lane talking non stop and wanting to play and my Dad talking to me about things, so I'm kind of half way out of it...

1 comment:

Bethany said...

Of course it makes sense Dannie, I totally understand. Sometimes it seems like little things like those are just the hardest. Hugs to you dear sister, I'll be praying for you lots tonight. Love you!