Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Nothing Much...

Not sure why, but I just have to write. Not really anything is going on, I'm sitting here in a quiet house with probably a 100 things to do, but not wanting to do any of them. I know...bad of me! Today was an unbelievably good day. Logan's first day of summer break was today and so I had a full day planned, full week actually. So after waking up to finding that they had CHOCOLATE energy bars for breakfast we had a short talk about that then had a nutritional breakfast. I'm going to try this week to have Logan liking onions and bell peppers by the time the week is over. He instantly turns up his nose to something if he sees anything "unusal" in it, although it tastes good or he can't EVEN taste it. That was proved this morning. So....I'm going to experiement. Tomorrow he is going to eat breakfast blindfolded, not as a punishment, just as a game more, and I'm going to show him that he really DOES like onions, and they aren't bad. Of course, if he proves me wrong, then I wont make him eat them, I understand people don't like everything. :) I'd hate it if someone blind folded me and made me eat mushrooms and black olives! ;)

After breakfast I read them each a rather long story and then we read from Galatians about the Fruit of the Spirit. We talked about first the qualities that people have that will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven and then read on about if we live by the Spirit we will bear "fruit" They listened very well and Logan was especially attentive. Then we made our Fruit of the Spirit wreath! :) We thought of 9 different fruits and cut out the shapes of them, (apple, banana, grapes, blueberries, orange, etc.) and then we wrote one thing on each, like our cherries say "Love". Then we glued them on to a wreath made out of a paper plate and attached a ribbon so it can hang. It was a simple craft but they enjoyed making it and hopefully we can hang it up to be a constant reminder. For the next two weeks though we are going to look more into each "fruit" Hopefully they will learn a lot and have fun at the same time. I have some different crafts and games planned. After our craft though we did some flash cards and then went shopping. I love to go grocery shopping and the kids were great so we got LOTS of groceries and even made it to Micahels to get a lot of craft things. We bought plain t-shirts to tye-dye on Friday and then paint pens to write on the shirts. :) Also, I'm trying to start a new system this summer with both kids home. I started this morning teaching Logan how to rinse his plate off and load and unload the dishwasher. So....I decided to make a star chart for both Logan and Hanah, but it's not exactly for doing what is expected it's for doing the right thing without being told. So, if Hanah picks up the living room without me telling her and if Logan clears the table and helps with dishes without being asked then they would each earn their star for the "Doing Chores" category. :) Some other things they get stars for are Using Manners, Not arguing, Being a good listener. Now I have to say again, no matter what I expect they would do this when I ask them to, but typically I'll have to remind Hanah to maybe listen better or to not have an attitude, so we'll see how this works. But each day I'll keep track of how many stars they got and then at the end of the week whoever has the most stars that week gets to pick out of the prize bag. :) We picked out LOTS of prizes today. I let them pick their own, but they wont get it until they get their stars. I just started this so I'm not sure it will work, I'll let you know though! :)

You know, I am really thankful for the job that the Lord has given me but often I am left wondering why He would even have this for me. I mean, why couldn't my life have ended up like my friends? Why was it MY Mom who died, and why is it MY Dad who doesn't hold to the same standards as me, and why did I have to move out and get a job? I desire to do the right thing SO much but then others would look at my life and see the situation I'm in and wonder I'm sure. I'm always left with the same conclusion though, I don't know why this happened to me. I don't know why this is God's will for my life, but I just pray daily that He will use me for HIS glory and that whatever He has for me I'll bring glory to him. If that means I'm a nanny for the rest of my life, or work at McDonalds, okay, well hopefully not THERE, but wherever he places me I'll be content and have joy. I can say now though that I feel very blessed with the job He has given me. I love this family a lot and can't imagine how it will be once my time is up here, I'll feel lost for sure.

I talked to my Grandma today and she just cried, a lot on the phone and she said she isn't even sure why she is crying. My Grandpa doesn't understand either so he just wants to go back to Florida and leave everything here. They just got here it seems like so it's sad to see them go so quick. I think my Grandma misses my Mom a lot. I sometimes, well often, just think of myself grieving and think no one could possibly miss her as much as I do, but my Grandma loss her only daughter, and she already loss one son so I'm sure she is hurting very much. It's hard though because my Grandma isn't usually one to even cry, I mean, I don't think she cried at my Mom's funeral, but now more than ever I think she is missing her. This is the second time being up in MO after my Mom died (they moved right after she died) and I think being with all us grandkids is very hard bringing up memories. I'll admit though, it's hard for me too. For some reason I can talk to a total stranger or blog on here all about my Mom but talking about my Mom with my sisters or even grandma is hard. I want to hide my hurt and talking to them makes me remember her and makes me realize how empty I am and how much I truly miss her and want her here. Well, I'm getting that sick feel in my stomach, so I better stop writing. Sorry that my posts seem to always lead to this.

I wish all of you could have met my Mom. Especially those of you who are very close and dear to me. My Mom was the most wonderful person I have ever known. And I'm not just saying that because she was my Mom. The relationship she had with Jesus was one that I haven't seen in anyone else. She loved the Lord more than anything else and as hard as it was for her to leave us she believed that the Lord had a GOOD reason for taking her and that BIG things would happen and that we'd all be okay. I miss her a lot guys.....she was everything to me, and maybe that's why God took her, not sure, but I wish I knew. ;(

1 comment:

Chelle said...

I saw your comment on Selah's blog. I am in Kansas City. I am leaving tomorrow though...are we close? I have been very sick since I have been here so didn't get to see much of the sights though! I have been following your blog! And I am still praying!