Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Losing Hope

The last two days have been so tough. My mom realized that she wasn't getting better and started losing hope. This was the absolute worst thing that could have happened to her. She just kept telling me, "Danielle, I'm getting worse, It's not getting better." I tried assuring her that it would get better, it just takes time and that we have to have hope. She answered me with, "No, I don't." Oh, it broke my heart when she said that. How could my mom, such a strong women, be ready to give up? This couldn't be happening to me. But it was....

I called the Doctor in Mexico and we discussed coming back down to Mexico for more weeks, getting her MRI done, and upping her steroids. After getting off the phone with him, my mom had woken up from a nap, and she said she felt great! From that point on she just got better and better. Her speech was still confused, but she said she felt great! Praise God. I then talked to her again and she said she wouldn't give up anymore, no matter what. She knew she had to keep on believing and have faith. Last night we were able to work on the shed on our property. She hasn't been able to do that since we've been home. Since she felt so great last night, we figured today would be a great day.

Well, it didn't turn out the way I hoped. My mom's speech is almost completely gone now. When she does say things, nothing really makes since. She is back into a really down mood. I just don't know what to do to get her into a better mood. Nothing is funny to her anymore and nothing sounds good to do. She can't drive right now, so we can't really go many places. I've got to think of something though. Her birthday is next Monday, so I'm wanting to do something really special for her. I asked her what she wanted and the only thing she said was to get better. I felt horrible. The only thing my mom wants, is something I can't give her. All the money in the world can't guarantee that gift.

I'm praying that she will start to feel better again this afternoon and we won't have to increase the steroids. I'm scared to give her anymore.

Thanks for everyone who has been praying. I believe this is what really helps. Her MRI is Monday, so pray for good and positive results.

Love, Danielle


Katie Marie said...

Praying much for you and your mom, Danielle!
In Him, our Strength,
Katie Marie

Danielle said...

Katie Marie,

Thank you for your prayers and I was just wondering how you found my blog?


Katie Marie said...

Danielle, I found it through Teens on Their Knees. :-)
Still praying for you!
-Katie Marie