Friday, October 31, 2008

Praise The Lord!

I'm NORMAL!!! :) Okay, that sounds a little weird, but after waiting what felt like ALL day, the nurse called me to let me know that my blood work came back within normal range!! :) Thanks be to God, because even the doctor is amazed with this. I have been praying that God would just heal me and some friends of mine were praying the same and that my results would come back normal and they did! :) My potassium is now back to 5.0! The nurse said, "I don't know what your doing but keep it up and keep drinking lots of water and stay away from that potassium!" She said I could reward myself like once a month with a banana! :D Anyway, I am thrilled as I'm sure you can tell.

Today was a fun day. Logan was off school yesterday and today so today was our "party" day. :) We started off our day by making cupcakes and finishing up our crafts. :) Then the kids played outside for a little while since it's been BEAUTIFUL here! :) (upper 70's) So then Tara came over and we took the kids to the mall to kill sometime. Not that the mall is a great spot to kill time, but we had a reason...they have a pet store! :) We all LOVED looking at the cute little pups and then actually went in a room and held one. He was adorable and we named him Yoshi! If only we had 500 dollars to spend on a puppy. I'm not even an animal fan, but this little guy stole my heart! He was some kind of mix..think they called him a peekadoodle or something! :) I know it was part poodle. :D He would only get to 8-12 lbs too!! :) Aw, I wanted him! :)
So after the pet store we made our way to Brunswick Zone XL :) It was So much fun! It's supposed to be a bowling alley but we didn't even bowl. They have laser tag and a HUGE arcade! :) (no, it's not like chuckie cheese) All of us enjoyed it! Tara and I didn't play laser tag, but we went in with the kids and well sort of played cause we helped Hanah out! Boy, that was one good workout! :) Then we spent the next hour or so playing games. They had one thing that you just laid on and you watched the screen and between the movie and your chair shaking all around it felt like you were on a roller coaster! Ah,...the best! :) Bet your wondering..."Did she go for her, or the kids?" :D :D (This was my first time, so I didn't know about all the fun stuff) Anyway, then we went to lunch and came home, so we are all pretty exhausted!
(Hanah playing lazer tag..oh by the way, these are all cell phone pics, that's why they aren't too good!)

I'm really looking forward to being home this weekend!! I don't think we have any plans for tonight (might go play tennis) but then tomorrow I'm volunteering at the fall picnic in Winfield to do face painting! :) Should be fun! Then tomorrow evening I am going to a fall party with Mandy. It's with some old school friends of mine so that should be VERY interesting! I haven't seen these girls since I was umm..11??? WOW! It's been a long time, but it will be nice to see them all again. :) And as for Sunday, I'm not really sure. Sunday is usually our family day, so I'm sure we'll have something planned! It's always nice going home, that's for sure!

Okay, now I have a question for you all. Do you think it is foolish to give details on my whole life over a blog? When I share struggles or when I just tell norm

al info does it seem like too much? Lately I've been going through some hard things, especially last night and I'd love to blog and tell you what I've learned, but I've been cautioned by someone and well, just wanted to know all of your thoughts. Does it ever encourage you all to see what God's been teaching me or is it more of a sob story? Please if you read this leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts. And if I get the go ahead, I'll share what I learned this morning! :) (although you all know it already I'm sure!)
(Oh, Besh...the pic of me is on there for you! :D Thought your family would die laughing seeing that I went OUT OF THE HOUSE with pigtails in!)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A lot accomplished!

Well with my day almost ending..or should I say my free time almost ending I thought I would update again. :) Today has been a pretty good day. I was feeling a little sick earlier but after a little nap, I was back to my normal self. I had a lot I wanted to get done today and thanks to God, I was able to get it all done and still have time to blog! :)

This morning I used all my time editing photos. If you ever check out my photo blog you'll know that I'm lacking there even more than I am with this one. It's not that I haven't taken pictures though, it's just that I've not taken the time to edit them. :) So finally today I got serious about it and editing about 30 or so pictures. I love doing it! Also I was working with John some with ideas for my new website!!!! He has been such a blessing to me with giving of so much of his time to help with this business. His whole family has actually been the reason why I'm pursuing it so much now. :) Thanks! So this morning John also put an ad on Craig's List for me to do work for people. (Scanning photos, slides, negatives...small editing jobs and photography I guess) Well right before he got offline he wrote and said that a lady had contacted him and wanted to know how much I charged for converting 8mm tapes to DVD! I could not believe that he got a response that quick! Thank you Jesus!! :) Now, it's still not sure I'll have the job, but at least someone was interested. :) Later on he called and said that a different man wanted 800 slides scanned and put on a DVD too! It's just incredible to me. I've had a hard time trusting that God would even bring any work. And not to say that I'll get these jobs or that work would stay this constant, but this has really been a jump start for my faith. :) Please be praying about this new business for me. Someone in my family is designing me a website right now and as soon as it's up I'll post a link here! :)

So then after Hanah went down for her nap I was able to work on all my other things. :) I think I told you about ordering the note cards. Well, they came in and I had to "package" them today. :) I'm going to try selling them 4 cards to a set. I know that's not very many, but they are kind of expensive to make so this way, it will be cheaper for whoever buys them. :) It was fun bundling them up though. Hopefully local shops will be willing to sell them for me.



So after that I framed some pictures that I had laying around. The one of Luke I'm going to give to Angie. She needs some more pictures for her office!

Lastly, I needed to frame the article that came out while I was in Oklahoma. Several weeks ago Jami, a reporter for the Suburban Journal interviewed Mandy and I. She had done an article on us while filming "Dancing With Angels" So anyway, it finally came out and ended up being on like the second page, we were amazed. We were figuring it'd go to the Health section or something. :) When I got home though, I had like 9 copies of this article waiting for me. I have some nice family and friends. :) They were all saving it for us! Someone had suggested cutting the article out and framing it to preserve it, so I did. :) That was a little more complicated than sticking a picture in. I cut it up into different sections than taped it in. :) Doesn't look too pretty, but it works. :) If anyone would like to read the article just click HERE


Besides this I've had a lot on my mind. With the help of some very kind and honest friends ;), I've learned that I am not a confident person at all and have a hard time trusting. Or if I do trust it's those small things like "Oh Danielle, did you know gullible is written on the ceiling?" I trust THAT, but I don't trust that what they are honestly telling me is true. Or that they are choosing to be my friend. Instead I think, "Oh they just feel sorry for me" And with the confidence, I'm not really sure how to change that, but I realize I DO need to change. I can be confident in Jesus Christ. Also I have to realize that although my goal is always to be perfect, it will never happen. Not on this earth, so I need to lower my goals a tad bit, so I don't stay frustrated in life all the time. When I say my goals, I mean for worldly things, like being a good tennis player, or piano player, or photographer. :) These are all things that I just assumed I should be perfect at, and well....it didn't happen that way. I fail, over and over and over. So...I'm trying to realize now that if I set my goals a little lower maybe, just MAYBE one day I'll be able to accomplish them. :) Wont that be nice? ;)

Well, Logan will be home very soon. So I better get going. Check out my photography blog for some of those pics I edited! ;)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Life can be hard...

Sometimes I wish that life could just freeze for a little while. That I could just step back from the situations around me and have time to think, pray and just fully comprehend what is going on around me. Life has been going so fast though that I feel lost in the midst of it. So many new things happening or coming up that I just don't know what to think of it all.

A very big thing that is going on right now is my health condition. I guess last I told all of you, my results came back good and I was feeling good, right? Well, I still technically am feeling good, if not better than before, but my blood work is not so good. :( That first time getting it drawn it came back saying that I was a little high in potassium and calcium but the concern was for my lack of fluids. I was very dehydrated. So, they asked me to drink a lot more water and then get more blood taken when I got home from OK. Soo...I did that. I drank a lot of water at the Naylors house and was just expecting my blood work to come back normal. So, I got home got more blood work last Thursday and then on Friday before leaving for IL, I got the call that my blood counts weren't so good. My calcium had gone up to 11, which is higher than normal, but not dangerous, but that my potassium was at a "dangerous" level. I couldnt' tell if it was something I should be worried about or not and she said, "well, it's not good. You could have a heart attack or kidney failure" She thought for sure that I must be taking a lot of potassium in my diet, but I'm not, so basically it's left unexplained for now. No one knows where all the potassium is coming from, but we have to get it under control. I am scheduled to get MORE blood drawn this Thursday and we'll go from there. My counts were at 5.6 and according to some websites, if your potassium level reaches 6.0 you should be hospitalized. (I don't plan on doing that) Along with my abnormal blood work I've also had some water retention, (just last night, but it scared me to death) My hand was like SOO puffy...Anyway, I called my doctor today and am waiting to hear back about that.

I guess just with all this going on it leaves me thinking a lot. Life is short...for some people 48 years while some only 3 years. Who knows how long we each have? I guess I'm just trying hard to trust God through all of this. Please pray for Mandy through all this also though. She is having a hard time with it. It's scary...I dont want to talk about it with her though, because it scares her almost as much as it scares me. Lord willing, nothing will be wrong though and maybe the blood tests were just messed up.

Another thing that has been on my mind SO much is my job. I'm currently working VERY hard to get my photography business up and going. Not only photography stuff though. I'm also trying to do more small editing jobs and DVD presentations for people and scanning work for others. John has helped me a lot with ideas, and the whole Naylor family actually. I just got some blank notecards printed with a pic I took on the front. And I'm going to try to sell packages of those at local shops. It's another area of trust for me. I want to be able to just have this one business but it takes a leap of faith to leave my job here and start doing just photo stuff. Also, I'm not totally sure it's God's will that I leave. If ANY of you have any idea to help me with this or have friends who need some sort of work done, please PLEASE think of me. :) I'm currently getting a website made and working on business cards.

Well, I had a lot more to write but due to other things I can't right now. Check back soon though to see photos from my trip to OK and to read about it! :)

Friday, October 10, 2008

PRAISE GOD!



I have like NO time at all to blog, but wanted to tell you all....


I HAVE NO BRAIN TUMORS!!!! Praise God for the great results! :) The nurse had me terrified on the phone because she said there was an abnormality but then she went on to say it was with my left ear canal!!!! YAY! So they just referred me to a ENT to see what I can do for it. :) Now this will help with the dizzy symptoms, as for the fatigue, we are still working on that..I'm trying to drink that water! ;)

Anyway, thank you all SOOO much for the prayers!!!

oh, here are some photos from today! :)

Anxious

I'm sick and not even sure why....It is very uncommon for me to wake up at 6:00 with no alarm and this morning I did. I've just been laying in my bed and getting myself so worked up about little things. I don't know why I'm feeling so sick, I can't even pin point it to one things, seems like lots of things. I guess the biggest thing may be that I will possibly get my results today from the MRI.

Yesterday was one tough day. As you all knew I was scared about the MRI but on Wednesday I was feeling better about it and then even Thursday morning early I wasn't too scared. But it definitely hit me when I was driving to the hospital. :( I wasn't actually afraid of the MRI, but the results. I guess it may be hard for you all to understand. But knowing that when my Mom first got her MRI done she didn't know anything was wrong and then lived only 5 months after that first one. That is scary! I shouldn't be scared, but I am and was. Anyway, thank you to all those who were praying for me. My sister Tara ended up coming up to the hospital to be with me. I didn't do too good of a job at hiding how scared I was. :( I survived the MRI though and am now just waiting on results. I'm so hoping they come today only so I can get some sleep tonight. :)

Like I said though, I'm not really sure this is the reason why I'm so anxious. There is one other small tiny area that it could be, but who knows. Also, I'm flying to Oklahoma tonight so maybe I'm just super excited about that!! :)

I wanted to also let you all know my blood work came back. The doctor said that my thyroid count was within NORMAL range! :shock: It was certainly on the low end of normal, but still normal, so nothing to worry about there. The only problems with it were that I was really dehydrated and didn't have enough electrolytes in my body and then I also had too much calcium and potassium in my blood. That part didn't make sense to me at all. People have actually told me I should take calcium supplements because I don't drink milk and stuff, so who knows where all the calcium is coming from. :) The doctor ordered another blood test though, so when I'm home from OK, I'll have to get MORE blood work. :( That's okay though, I guess she just wants to make sure that my counts are high and if so then she'll do even MORE specific blood tests to find out why it is. She said it was nothing to worry about though, they weren't that high, just a little above normal. She was mostly worried about my electrolytes and of course me getting the MRI. She said since the blood work came up with no reason for me to be dizzy, the MRI was crucial. Maybe she said that to just worry me though......

I may or may not get my results today from the MRI, but whenever I do, I'll post it on here...Now if it's bad, I wont be posting for awhile probably. Not sure I'll feel up to blogging if they find tumors or something..but I'm trying hard to just trust the Lord that there will be NO tumors and my brain will be fine!!!

Thank you again for all the prayers!! It really means a lot to me!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Scared...

Well, as some of you may know, (not many) but I have been having some weird health problems lately. I guess it's sort of been since the beginning of summer. I've just been SOO overally tired, even with hours and hours of sleep, and then also have been quite dizzy lately. I understand that being tired doesn't seem like a normal reason to see a doctor, but I'm telling you, I'm ALWAYS tired. So anyway...last week my dizzy problems got worse and I almost blacked out twice. :( That got me pretty scared and those who heard about it scared so I was convinced to go see a doctor this week before leaving for Oklahoma.

So, today was the big day. I went to the doctor and explained my symptoms and so she told me the dizziness can be from a virus. She said it lasts 5-7 days and then is gone. Since my is lasting longer than that and I had some numbness with it, she was thinking something else COULD be wrong...So, THEN she found out about my Mom and told me I should have an MRI on my brain. :( At the time of her telling me I wasn't scared..not at all, I just thought it was kind of foolish to get it done. But now, the later the day gets the more scared I'm getting. I don't want my family to know I'm scared though....I guess it just brings up a lot of memories of my Mom being sick and getting MRI after MRI done on her. I've had an MRI done once, but it was on my knee and so that's what else is scary. This is on my HEAD! Anyway, I am trying so hard to not let this scare me, and to not let my family know how scared I am. :( I was thinking though...what IF they found something? I've always said I want nothing more than to be with my Mom.... :( Maybe this is why I have no prospects for marriage or why my life is this way...none of us know how much longer we have to live. Just a lot to think about.

Anyway, they also drew a lot of blood today so I should find out by Thursday what's going on with that. She thinks it's just my thyroid, which I'm fine with, that's better than tumors. Praise the Lord too, because I didn't get woosy or pass out when they took my blood! This is the first time I felt good after getting it done and it was a HUGE needle! OH BOY! I'm so thankful though that it didn't hurt or anything.

Please just be praying for me though, I know I just need to trust God with this. My life is in HIS hands. Oh and if your Mandy or Tara reading this...just pretend you didn't.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

50 years....



Well I've just been sitting here....not sure what to write. I have tons of emotions going through me right now and SO much going on in my head. I try to not let these "dates" through the year get me upset, but I'm human and they do. The more I dwell on them though the worse it is. Tomorrow, October 2nd, my Mom would have been 50 years old. I remember when she turned 40 and my older sister tried planning a surprise party for her, which flopped and I just remember thinking.. by the time she is 50 I'll be old enough to give her a HUGE Surprise party! Then when my Mom was sick and we weren't able to celebrate her 48th very much I just kept telling myself, okay, when she turns 50 I'll have a HUGE party. Well tomorrow is that day, and my Mom isn't even there. She didn't make it to 50....That's hard for me. I know people who have been MARRIED 50 years, but my Mom couldn't even live 50 years. Doesn't seem fair.

Yesterday I had a really hard time with wanting my Mom here. I know several of you have lost someone close to you, a son, grandparent, friend...and it's never easy but losing my Mom feels like the hardest thing in the world. She left me at such a crucial time in my life I feel like. NOTHING has been easy since she died and it's like my anchor in life is gone. I just cried and cried last night talking to Tara, almost screaming because I wanted my Mom back so badly. I just want to wake up from this bad dream a
nd have her here. I'm learning such a hard lesson and wish there was an easier way. I'm realizing that God DOES have a plan for my life but it's so different than I'd ever have for myself. I'll be honest, it's almost like God's given me the plan for my life and I have to read it, but it's all in Chinese..I DONT GET IT! I wish so much the plan for my life could be easily laid out in front of me, but God doesn't do that. I KNOW He is faithful! Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." It's the trusting part that doesn't come easy with me. PLEASE PLEASE be praying for me with this. I need to trust him with my job situation, with understanding why he took my best friend- my Mom, and with my life. I'm so weak though and I believe I probably struggle more with this than anyone. :(

I know my Mom can't read my blog or know my thoughts, but I'm hoping God does a special favor and will at least let my Mom know that I love her more than anything and that I miss her. I can't wait to be in Heaven with her. Happy Birthday Mom!