Amazing Grace

As I started writing this, I've been listening to a song by Chris Tomlin. I guess it is a version of Amazing Grace. Here are the lyrics:

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine

I just love this song. The lyrics are very special to me! :)

Our weekend has been pretty good. Yesterday my Mom did wake up with a headache, but after two pain killers and 3 hours, the headache was gone. The pain pills both had side effects of drowsiness though, so my Mom was extremely tired. She had a tougher time walking also, because she was so tired. So, we decided yesterday to increase her steroids to 30 mg. instead of 24 mg. David was saying that in Mexico they were giving her the steroids through IV which makes her get all of it. But being at home she is taking it orally, and from what I've heard, some gets lost. That's the reason for increasing it to 30 mg. It worked though, My mom had no headache this morning and is feeling good. Praise God!

Yesterday we had some guys come over and chop firewood for us. It amazed me, because we didn't tell anyone we were low on wood or that we needed help, but Jake just noticed and called Stephen and Mr. Schuknecht to come and help. They ended up getting us two pick-up truck loads of fire wood. I think we will have enough for this winter now! We are so thankful to these guys.

Also, last night Lora and John Paul Tate came over to visit. It was nice to see them. I wish I could have seen Cheryl too! She is in Romania now though. She did send a gift for my Mom though. It is so special to my Mom. It is a sign that says, "God didn't promise days without pain, Laughter without sorrow, Nor sun without Rain, But he did promise strength for the day, Comfort for the tears, and Light for the Way" This sign was so appropriate for my Mom. Thanks so much Cheryl! It was really nice yesterday night to just laugh. Most things have just been so serious, these last few months. I mean, yeah, I do laugh, and things are funny, but last night topped it all! Just ask John Paul about his layers! :)

Today, I got back to doing some normal things. The last two days, dinner has been somewhat spontaneous. It turned out okay, but it wasn't really planned. So today, I made a menu for this up coming week and David went grocery shopping for me. It was difficult thinking of things to make though, I guess I have been "off work" too long. In Mexico they do all of that for us. Sometimes I think it would be so easy, if someone just made the list and I cooked what they planned. But that could get boring, never picking what you want to make. I don't know. I'll see how this week goes.

I guess that is all of my news. Please continue to pray for my Mom and that God will show me the truth. I've mentioned before about being confused. But I know the Lord will show me in his time about praying his will or asking for things. Can't wait to know! :)

Love, Danielle

Saying Good-Bye

The last few days have been such a turn of events for us. I was expecting another week and half in Mexico, but now we are already home. It's weird how things change so fast. The last two days we were in Mexico, my Mom was having really bad headaches. She also had lost control of her bladder. The doctor talked to me and said he wasn't sure if it was permanent or just a side effect from the Radiation. But we all agreed the radiation isn't doing any good, only harm. So, basically Dr. Quintana, said there was nothing else to do in Mexico at this time. I had written an email to many people explaining all of this and I mentioned that our last hope was gone. I need to clarify though, we were told before ever going to Mexico that it was our last hope. What I meant by all of it was that our last option was gone. We still have the Lord, and he is the best doctor. We could be in Mexico, Missouri, or China, God works anywhere. Lately, I think it has been really hard for me to totally trust the Lord because for some reason I feel like I've been let down. I know this isn't right though. God gives and takes away breath, we shouldn't expect any day. But I was just so sure she would be healed, and now we are being sent home, this didn't make since. I'm still really confused, I don't know what to think. I know I can't give up hope, but it isn't as easy to hold on to right now.(Mandy, My Mom, and Me)

My Mom doesn't know that we were sent home. She was just so happy to find out we were leaving. She has wanted to come home for so long now. Saying good bye was really tough for me. I am not sure when I will see them all again, and we have so many great friends down there now. I'll never forget any of them. :) Mexico will always be so special to me!

(Mucho Loco de la Cabesa)

At the airport in San Diego, our friends Art and Adele and their daughter Alyssa came to see us off. It was really nice to see them before we left. We had a little bit of time before we had to go past security so we decided to get a bite to eat. Well, while we were ordering, I went back to ask my Mom something and she was in the middle of a seizure. Her hand was bent up next to her face and her tounge and jaw were doing very weird things. She was shaking a little and her head was tipped. It was one of the scariest things for me. Everyone was staring at us because my sister and I were crying. Our friends were huddled over her and praying for her and withing 5 minutes she came out of it. She was just crying. I was still just so scared. I talked to David and the doctor, I didnt know what to do. What if this happend while we were on the plane? All of this showed me something though. My first reaction was to cry and then call the doctor or David. Why didn't I turn to the Lord? This is what I mean, my trust isn't fully in him. Oh, how I need to change this. But how? Prayer works, I saw that yesterday, I just wish I would have turned to HIM first. Well, my Mom ended up doing great on the flight. She actually seemed to have more strength after the seizure. She was really hungry and just wanted to eat.

We got into STL around 11:30 last night and then got home by 12:30. We were all exhausted I think. A friend of ours, Mrs. Tate, stayed the night to help, if there were any problems. She is such a great help to us. It ended up that my Mom only got up once in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and had no other trouble. It seems like the bladder problem she was having was only temporary. Praise God! She also woke up with no headache. I was just so amazed to wake up hearing this good news. We have started her on some seizure medicine, so now she is sleeping, the doctor told us it will make her drowsy. Other than that though, she feels great today. She is so happy to be home and with her friends and family. :)

I also wanted to say one more thing. I wrote earlier in a different post about God not wanting some to be crippled or sick, but after lots of thinking I have changed my mind. I thought that the sickness resulted from sin, that's what I've been told, but I thought of some friends and different family members. What sin would a little boy have commited to get diabetes? Or when a child is born mentally handicapped, that isn't from his sin or the way he lived his life. We accept all the blessings with no question, but when things go wrong we look for reasons. A friend sent me this scripture:
"So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and struck Job with loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself while he sat in the ashes. Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die." But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips. Job 2:7-10

So, I am sorry if I offended anyone, it was not my intention. I was wrong, a different friend was talking with me this morning and we were talking about the different ways God can get glory. I can't remember all of the scriptures. But the main three we talked about that we don't usually think about were through persectuion, sickness and even death. The verse about sickness is:

John 11:4 "When Jesus heard [that], he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby."

Here are some pictures from the last day!

Dr. Quintana's new baby boy, Emilio!

Long Wait...Sorry

Okay, I'm sorry I haven't written in awhile. I actually did write over the weekend, but the internet was down so I saved it to the laptop. Then, David left on Monday and took the laptop home, the internet was still not on. So, that's my long excuse. I've asked David to mail me the file, I'm just waiting. And I figured, it will all be old news by the time I post it. I might as well start a new one. Right? I have lots of photos also to post, so you will see them all through out the post. They are mainly just random photos. Tara and David did make it safely here by 10:00 on Friday night. It wasn't the best surprise for my Mom though. She had already been asleep for 2 hours, so when they woke her up she was just really confused. She wasn't sure what day it was or why they were in her room. Not until the next morning did she fully understand. Our visit was okay, it didn't exactly go like I had planned. We were able to do some shopping and Mandy and I went down to the beach with Tara. My mom was pretty tired the whole weekend though, and we started noticing on Saturday that her hair was falling out. This really shocked us, because we had been told that the chemo wouldn't make her hair come out. So, we talked to the doctor and he said it was from the radiation. At first this was really hard for me. I was brushing her hair and it just kept coming and coming. But my Mom seemed to be staying very strong. So, I'm okay with it, actually she looks so beautiful without all of the hair. We figured by Monday she wouldn't have any left, but it is almost Wednesday and she still has some. Tomorrow she will wash her hair though, and I'm pretty sure most of the rest will come out. I think it is all dead, because it feels like a wig. It's pretty strange. We've bought her a hat and we are still looking for bandannas for her head. She doesn't want to go around bald. Her hat looks really cute on her though. This picture was taken on Saturday, I figured it would be the last time for awhile until I could braid her hair again. She still had a lot there.
Today my Mom has been pretty depressed. She woke up with a really bad headache, which is unusual. It was actually very scary for me. I thought she could be going back to how it was the first night we were here. She would just cry, and she couldn't tell me what was hurting. So, we got the nurse and doctor and they gave her the steroids just a little early. After an hour the doctor came up and looked to see if there was a lot of swelling. After looking he said it was all normal, which is really good. Praise God! She ended up going back to bed and she slept until 10:00. But when she woke up, she had no headache anymore. We were so happy. She was able to go to radiation and do most of her other treatments. Although nothing hurt on her, she still wasn't happy. She cried a lot of the day. It was so sad for me to see her like that. She just kept telling me that she would be okay though. We figured she is just really home sick. She wants to see family, friends, and especially the dogs.
Does Mandy looked a little surprised here? She likes to do her "bug" eyes!

This was a dog on the beach when we went on Sunday. Our aunt and uncle came down Sunday from California to spend part of the day with us. It was really nice having them here. It was a really pretty day. The picture of the ocean was taken the same day! :)
Well, I guess that is all of my news. My mom is doing much better now. Not so much in the bad mood. Please continue to pray for my Mom, and thanks to everyone who already has prayed and continues to!

A Wonderful Day!

I wasn't sure how the day would turn out, you know with David being gone, I figured my Mom would sink into depression again. Praise God though, because she didn't! Mandy and I woke up with excitment, thinking about Tara coming.

Well, we've been waiting, waiting, and just more waiting! Tara missed her flight this morning, so her next flight was later in the afternoon. So instead of arriving at 2:00, David thought 8:00. Well then we got another phone call saying Tara's flight is running behind schedule. So, he thought 9:00. Now, the update is that he has her with him, but they won't be here until 10:00 or 10:30. OH BOY! I just know that my Mom will be so excited and surprised, I just want her to get here. I was told she got sick on the plane though, so hopefully she is feeling better now. :)

We had a great day though. My mom finished all of her therapies by 11:00, so when we got back from radiation we weren't rushed at all. I really believe my Mom's legs are getting stronger also. She told me she isn't so sure, but I can tell that I don't have to lift as much anymore, or hold on to her when she walks. A different problem she was having is getting better also. Praise God! In the afternoon we layed out in the sun again. I couldn't believe how hot it was. It had to be in the upper 90's. We went throught almost an entire large water bottle from sitting out there. I hope the weather stays like this.

I also made gorditas today for some of the staff here and for our family. While David was still here we bought some Maseca and queso fresco and avocados. So I have almost everything for them. At first it was going really bad, because the dough was too sticky and the cheese was too clumpy. After many attempts we got the dough right and I figured out the cheese situation. So, tonight I had some dough left over, so I got to try making them all on my own. Scary huh? It actually didn't go too bad...I had enough dough to make 10 gorditas or empenadas (whatever you call them) so I saved two for Tara and David, we had some and then I was able to give some to more staff and some patients. I don't have a picture of the final product, with tomato, lettuce, and avocado, but I do have some others! :)

The picture above this is of the gorditas, not cooked. It is hard to see, because they blend in so well. And the picture below is of a frying pan with them cooking. Sorry, the pics didnt turn out too good. :(I guess that is all! I'm still just waiting...patiently. ;) I do have one other picture too to post. It didn't turn out to well either. Last night there was a beautiful sunset, but my camera didn't do to well. It was too dark outside I guess. The sun was practically down. I'll post it anyway though.
Oh, today Oswaldo, a man who works here, brought a Spanish New Testament. I've been wanting to get one, but couldn't find one here. So, he got me one. I'm almost finished with the Old Testament, so I figured this time through the New Testament, I'll read it in Spanish and English. I've heard of some people learning languages that way, so we will see how it goes. I'm very excited to start though. Maybe in a week or two.

Thanks for all the encouraging emails and prayers!
Hasta Luego!

John Boy's Lesson

This afternoon our family watched an episode of the Waltons. I've seen this episode before, but it has never felt so real in my life. In the episode Mrs. Walton gets sick with polio. One day she is fine, and then suddenly unable to walk. My mom had never seen this episode before, so I hoped it would encourage her. (I know it's only a movie) :) Although my Mom can still walk, her legs are getting weak, and I think she could know what the lady was going through. She cried almost all the way through the episode.

One part that really stuck out was when John Boy and Mr. Walton had their discussion. John Boy was just so upset and everyone was telling him that he needed to accept that it was God's will for his mother to never walk again. He couldn't accept that though. Why would his God, a God of love and mercy, have his mother never walk again?

After the episode, we all talked about who was actually right in the conversation. We decided that both were right. We do need to be okay with whatever God chooses to do. But we also think it isn't God's will that we be crippled, sick with cancer, or any other terrible disease. We have a responsibility to take care of our bodies, God wants us healthy, but sometimes it is our own fault-not always, I understand there are some people with an exception. Throughout the movie, Mrs. Walton would try to walk, but she would just keep falling. John Boy told her that if she didn't think or try so hard, maybe it would be easier. Not until the end of the movie, did she have a dream of one of her kids calling her and then she flew out of the bed to get her daughter. She didn't think about it, but just got up. So, I think...Maybe we try to hard? My Mom just has to stay positive and believe she will be healed. Okay, sorry I rambled so much about the Waltons, I know none of it is even real. :)

My Mom went to radiation today and it went fast again. She would have been back REALLY quick, except the doctor was an hour late. Things in Mexico are way different, but nice! :) After getting back, my Mom was able to start her IV and get different treatments. Today was the first day so it was all an experiment for her.

Okay Part 2:

I started this yesterday, but the internet was down so I didn’t get a chance to put it up. Oops! So I have all new news. Today was one of the best days for my Mom. Although David left today, and she was sad, we turned it all around. My mom’s strength seems to be coming back slowly and her spirits are up. We were laying out in the sun today and listening to some of my music. We’ll after this certain song, my Mom grabbed my hand and looked at me and said, I’m going to get better, even if my legs stay bad forever. I then asked her, why would God not completely heal her? Why would he let her be weak forever? That doesn’t seem like something he would do.

Okay for one of my weird things again, while on the way to radiation, I was thinking about the number things in the bible. I thought that 7 represented being complete and 8 was a new beginning. So, then I thought, well next year will be 2007. And I don’t know why, but I feel confident that by July my Mom will be healed. Maybe some think I am being superstitious, and maybe I am, I’m not trying to be though. I just believe it. 6 is the number of man, and I’ll tell you, more than ever this year am I being showed what little power we actually have as humans. We aren’t in control of anything. Well, I just thought I would share this with you. And if she isn’t healed by then, that’s okay, my theory was wrong. J

I’m really looking forward to tomorrow and the big surprise my Mom will have. It will be so nice to see Tara and spend a weekend with her. My mom will be really happy! I’m also going to make gorditas for some of the staff here at the hospital. Well, Angelica is going to help me make them, I’ve never made corn tortillas before. There is a first for everything!

I better go. We are going to sing with some of the patients here tonight. I’ll have another chance to play my guitar some more. I just need to learn some new songs. I think they are getting tired of the same one over and over again. I know I am!

I’ll post pictures definitely this weekend, or I will try to

~Adios

A Good Day...Again!

Today was a pretty good day. When I woke up I just figured that I wouldn't be going to radiation. So, I was somewhat excited. Radiation is very boring. I planned to help in the kitchen, since Angelica had asked me, and just catch up on some emails. Well, my plans didn't work out. Not much later, David told me that I had to go to radiation. I bet you can tell I wasn't too excited. He wanted Mandy and I to go together, because Mandy isn't strong enough to help my Mom up, and we both needed practice. So, I just prayed that God would pleae speed up the time for our wait. We ended up arriving at radiation before they even opened. There was already a line, so by the time we signed the list we were number 5. I know this doesn't sound like a long wait, but we were number 3 before and it was 2 hours. Praise God though, because after 30 minutes my mom was in with the doctor. We were back in Rosarito by 10:15. Yeah! I was still able to help some in the kitchen after all.

While in the kitchen, Angelica was making quesadilas for the kitchen staff and me. She asked if I wanted a chile. I wasn't sure if I wanted one or not, it all depended on how hot it was. She told me that they weren't hot though, so I decided to try one. She heated the peppers up and then squeezed lime juice on it and mixed it with onions. Well, my first bite was okay. It was just very salty tasting. By my third bite, my mouth was on fire! I couldn't believe I could go from okay to ready to explode within 5 seconds. I was crying, my nose was running, my lip felt like it was triple the size. It was muy caliente! The ladies tried giving me juice, and then a tomato, and then more juice. Nothing was working. After 10 minutes, I was doing better, except for my lip. I was constantly asking if my lip was getting bigger. NOTE TO SELF- Never eat chile again! They told me later that it was a jalapeno, but a really hot one. She said you can get them where they aren't very hot, but these ones were. No joke. :)

My mom has been doing a little better today. Her legs still really hurt, but she had more energy. She was able to start the keelation (sp?) and vitamins through IV. She also did a water massage and the spinalator. Dr. Donsbach also put my Mom on something new, it is supposed to help her legs. It is for blood circulation, you stand on it and it vibrates, she is supposed to stand on it twice a day for 10 minutes. I think she likes it.

Tomorrow is David's last full day with us. Well, for a short time. He is leaving on Thursday to go back to California. And then on Friday, Tara, my sister, is flying in to come visit my Mom. This is all a secret though. My Mom thinks David is going home for good. Actually he will pick Tara up and bring her down here Friday afternoon. They will both stay until Monday and then go home for good. We will follow them in another 2 weeks. :) I am so excited for Tara to come. My mom will be so happy!

Well, I guess that is all. I still have no pictures. Sorry. :(

Adios,

Danielle

Just some thoughts

I know, I know...I didn't post yesterday and no pictures! I'm sorry. It was late last night and i was feeling so guilty that I didn't do as I had tried to promise. Today though, I have come through, although, I don't really have the best pictures. I didn't take any today, but Mandy got a few of some workers and nurses. And then, right before I came down I woke my Mom up to get a picture of her, so I could post it. Hope you like it!

The last two days have been pretty good. My mom's legs and strength is getting a little worse, but her spirits are up and she's had no headaches. Praise God! Right now we are working on the brain and then we can focus on the legs. Right? For the last two nights we have been meeting with a group of patients and singing praises together and fellowshiping. It was really nice. The first night, my Mom was really depressed and didn't want to leave the room. Then a friend of ours called and I'm not sure what she said to my Mom, but my Mom got off the phone a different person. She came down on her own and was ready to sing. I was so happy to see her. That night a lady here talked a lot to us. She shared her testimony and the story of how she was healed. It was the best thing for my Mom to hear. It amazes me how God puts others in our lives, at just the right moment. :) She said a lot of good things, and some I'll share with you.

We've often thought, what did we do to deserve this to happen to us? Why our family...again! It seems like things are always happening to me, I'm not sure why. I'm not saying I've really questioned God, but I've always wondered. But this lady set my perspective right. God chose my Mom to go through this, so HE will get glory. He chose to use My mom. How neat is that? Of all the people in the world, he chose her. I am blessed to be a part of something like this that God is using. Oh, and as I write this I'm thinking, if only I could always remember this. Through the tough times it is hard to think like this, but it is so true. I'll just have to re-read this. My mom is very special to God, and he knew she could handle this, and that everyone else going through this could handle it. I truly believe when this is all over God will get all the glory and we will never forget this. We will know who healed my Mom and thank him always!

Well, that was mainly what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to share it yesterday, but like I said, I ran out of time. Today was a busy day also. I went to Tijuana with my Mom for radiation. It is always so slow and boring there. You sit and wait 2 hours for a 5 minute visit with the docotor. It's "muy loco" (very crazy!) When we got home at 1:00, my Mom had her chemo. So, after an hour of that we were ready for lunch. We were an hour late, so we got some leftovers, it's alright though, we weren't too hungry.

This afternoon David and I went shopping in Rosarito. I needed to get some flip flops. My other pair broke last week. While we were out we stopped at the dollar store and a bakery. Ah, it was so good to go in there. They had pastries, doughnuts, pies, rolls. All so good! David let me pick out quite a few things. How nice! :) I had my first doughnut today in over 9 weeks I think. That's a record. ha ha ha

Then this evening, we spent out time getting ready for a surprise birthday party for Susie, a patients wife here. The receptionist made a card on the computer for her and a banner. Then someone else bought two sugar free cakes. So, we got everyone to sign the card and then after dinner, we got Susie out, so we could hang the banner and get the candles ready...It was a lot of fun. I think she liked it too! Everyone liked the cake. Although it had no sugar, it sure did taste like it.

Like I said, it was a busy day, but all good! Here are some of the pictures. The first one is a picture of the maintenance guys.The next one is a picture of three of the kitchen ladies, these are the afternoon cooks. Lupe, Ana, and Myra.Okay, that's all for now. Hope you enjoy them!

Love,
Danielle

An Uneventful Day...Thank God!

From the title, I guess you know that I don't have much to talk about. I'm glad though. I'm learning to like the boring days now, nothing bad happens. :)

My mom had another rough night last night, but since then she has been feeling okay. Praise God! Since today is a Saturday, there aren't many people here. Most of the staff has the day off, and lots of patients leave to go shopping or just look around Rosarito. I spent the beginning of my day in the kitchen with the ladies. They are so much fun to be around. I found out today that they don't usually let people come in. They actually have a sign on the door, but I asked Oswaldo, the guy in charge, and he said, Oh course I could go in. He said he will bring me an application on Monday to start my job! He was of course joking. :) But now, I feel much better knowing, that he doesn't mind if I am there.

This afternoon we layed out in the sun again. We have to try to fit in down here. Everyone is so dark tanned. Each day we compare and I try to say that I am morena "brown". They call Mandy blanca and me some other word, which means peach. I'm getting there though, the sun is hot here, so it's getting all of us a little darker. :)

Well, I guess that is all for now. Not too much to talk about. Tomorrow I will post pictures. Or at least I will try.

Speaking Healing

I've been doing a lot of thinking since a recent email I received. For the last two weeks I have been so confident that my Mom would be healed. I mean, I made a commitment to believe that until she wasn't breathing. No matter what happend, I would hold onto the hope she would be healed. For about the last two days though, I've wondered, Is this okay? Am I testing God? Or being over confident that he will do this? I do not know the will of God for my Mom's life, but did the apostles know it when they healed others? It is just a constant battle going on inside for me. I don't want to give up, with what I am believing, but I also don't want the Lord to show me really how much I know, because it isn't very much. I am just holding on to what I've read and things that Jesus himself has said.

Mat 21:22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
Luk 11:9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

So, now you know a little of what is going on inside of my head. Hopefully one of these days I will be able to figure all of these things out...maybe! :)

Now about our day! My Mom had her first round of chemotherapy. A symptom of her chemo is nausea, we aren't sure if she is feeling it or not. I mean, she is feeling sick, but she has been for a few days. We think she ate something bad on Wednesday when all that stuff happened. The doctor gave her a few pills today to help with some of the side effects, and so far it seems to be helping. I think my Mom will have another round of chemo on Monday. Usually it is every other day, but with the higher solution, I think she needs a few days.

After both treatments, my Mom and I went to lay out in the sun. I know it must sound vain, but it is good for her. Actually it is good for everyone. My Mom always feels better after laying out there. It perks her up some! :) I was feeling fine when we first were laying there, actually I fell asleep, but then someone walked by and I woke up immediately and I could tell my blood sugar was really low. I told Mandy and then walked up to the kitchen to get some almond butter. As I was walking I could feel it getting worse and worse. By the time I reached there, my arms and hands were so splochy and all my color was gone. I've never had that happen to me so fast. Usually it is a gradual process. I then took the almond butter out of the fridge and almost dropped it. That's how I found out I was really weak! Not a good way, I guess. After sitting a while and eating, I felt 100 percent better. It's amazing what a little protein and sugar can do. I'm not sure what caused this. I haven't had it happen the entire time we have been down here. I'm wondering if it is from the ice cream I had last night. I haven't had sugar in quite a long time, so maybe, possibly that could have done something. I checked my blood sugar this morning and I actually was high. Somewhere around 97, which is very odd for me. I'm usually normal somewhere around 77. I'll have to watch out for that ice cream I guess.

Well, I have no pictures today. I didn't take any. Maybe tomorrow I can try to get some. Thanks for all the prayers and comments left on my blog.

Adios!

An Eventful Night!

Hola Everyone,

I know, I haven't posted in a while, but I promise, I have been busy! :) Two nights ago we had to move out of the hospital. This place has had lots of problems from the government since it is an alternative hospital. So, that night we were told we had to get everything out, because the health inspectors were coming the next day. So, all but 3 patients moved to a hotel in Tijuana and the rest of us moved to trailers, right down the road (walking distance). Even though, this was extremely scary for me, we had a lot of fun. We stayed up late talking to the doctor and had a small party the next day. Since our trailer was in the middle, we had the nurses staion in ours. Dr. Quintana let us be doctor's assistances also. It was really fun!

For the good news, the hospital passed inspection, so that means, they shouldn't be coming back anymore. We are all back moved into the hospital, so today I finished packing...again! My sister and David went to San Diego today. They had to get more money from the bank and go to a few stores. Usually it takes close to 4 hours crossing the border, but they got across in 40 minutes. So, they are back already! It was a quick trip. I stayed with my Mom here, and we went to radiation. My mom is feeling good, but is just so depressed. She told me today that she doesn't care if she dies. She just wants to go home. I know she doesn't mean this, she just was not in a good mood. Please continue to pray for her, and thanks so much for all of you who are sending encouraging emails and leaving comments! :)

This morning while David was still here, I learned how to make tortillas. It was so much fun! The dough was easy to make, but rolling them out wasn't the easiest for me. Angelica, the one teaching me, has been making them since she was 7 years old. She is a pro! Maybe one day, I'll be making them for my family each morning! I don't think so though. They taste really good though, even if they aren't round.

My mom's doctor, Dr. Quintana, isn't here today, because his wife is having her baby. They are naming him Emilio! We are so excited for them. We went to the store today to buy a little gift. Things are different down here though. They don't just sell little outfits. You have to buy a pack, and they are onesies (sp?), they are all pants and sweaters, odd for a newborn. Hopefully they will like it. :)

Thanks again for all the prayers. Our family really appreciates it!

Love,
Danielle

Pretty Good Day!

Well, I don't have so much to write about today, but I do have pictures. David came down today so now I have a laptop to use and it is easy for me to upload pictures. YEAH! It has been a lot more stressful since David has been here. Not that he is doing anything, but just knowing that he is here, helps a lot.

Also since David is here, I have been able to work in the kitchen. Last time we were here I was able to work a lot cooking and washing dishes, but since I've been taking care of my Mom, there really hasn't been much time. Today was great though. I spent lots of time there, and got to learn some more Spanish! Not so much cooking yet.

We have also been painting on the stones from down on the beach. We brought some craft paint, so that has kept us busy. It is a lot of fun. Instead of buying souvineirs, I can make some. Too bad, I am not the best painter though...:(

My mom is going to start radiation tomorrow. For the radiation she has to have these lines on her forehead. They are drawn on with black permanent marker. Well, today I had to re-draw the lines for her and after I was finished I told her to smile. She said to me, You smile. So I did, and then she said, No, with this on your face. So, you can guess what I have on my face! :) It's quite embaressing! The picture is in the top left corner.

Here are a few other pictures also! Hope you enjoy them! Please continue to pray for my Mom.





Love, Daneille

Mom's Improvement

This morning was really neat. I woke up to the sound of my Mom talking, full sentences and a clear voice. It is amazing the things that we (or should I say I) take for granted. We just assume we should have voices and be able to talk, but it is the Lord that provides that for us. Any day he could take it away. We have seen it happen. With all of these things going on with my Mom it puts so much in perspective. I am just praying that I can remember this when we aren't in the valley anymore, but on the mountain top! :) That day will come...

My mom had a good day. She was tired this afternoon, but it was to be expected. She walked a lot today, and was out of the room a lot. We brought things with us to Mexico to make crafts. We have burnt matches to make crosses to give out and we also brought paint for the stones from the beach, and a few other little things. So, my Mom enjoyed making those today. She worked on the crosses. I had the paint for the stones, but no stones. They are all on the beach. I wasn't sure how I was going to get them, because my Mom wasn't able to go down. There is an older couple here, that have been sort of afraid to go out to the beach by themselves so they asked me to go with the. We had a nice walk, but I felt bad having them walk me all the way to the rocks so I didn't get them. Instead there is a man that works here, who is a christian, and I asked him if he could take me down. I knew I could go fast, but I just don't think it is a good idea to be down there alone. Or even just girls. :( Anyway, I got my rocks, so I was able to paint! While we were walking up from the beach, I asked the man, how many children he had. I knew he had a little baby, but wasn't sure if it was his first. He replied with, an army of them. So, I imagined a large number. I then asked him how many and he said 4! I said, that's a pretty small army. I told him that I would like 15 or as many as the Lord gives me. He was shocked. He said I will change my mind later. I don't think so though. I said I want a quiver full! :) It just amazes me, even among christians, that they think having lots of children is bad, or that 4 is a lot of kids. Kind of funny, actually! I used to think that. I grew up with 4 kids in the family, and we were considered a large family, if only they knew some of the families we know. :)

Okay, back to my Mom. One of the doctors here explained to us more about the chemotherapy. It is not exactly the same thing that is done in the states. When you get it done in the US they don't give you anything to get rid of the dead cancer cells. Which in turn harms other parts of the body and makes you sick. He said that here, they will give her a large dosage, but she will be doing a detox, which makes her get rid of the bad cells. It made a lot of since. I feel so much better about it now. I'm still not sure, if that is what we are doing. David is coming down tomorrow morning, and he will make the final decision, with my Mom. I was being interviewed this morning, and he asked me what I thought about it, and how I liked being in charge of everything. My honest opinion was, I hated it. I don't like being the one to make the decisions. A lot of people don't know this about me, but I think a lot, and about everything. So, if I were the one to make the decision to do chemo or not, I couldn't. I mean, what if I said yes, and then something bad happend. I would never be able to get over it. I would blame myself forever. That is why I do not want to give my input. I believe God will give David the wisdom to know what to do, and it will be the right decision. And we haven't given up on prayer. He heals through that I believe.

I better get to bed now. I will try posting some pictures tomorrow. I know these posts must be pretty boring, pictures always help!

Blessings,
Danielle

What a day!

Well, we are in Mexico now. I meant to post more earlier, but things have been sort of crazy. Well, they have been really crazy. We had a good flight yesterday and my Mom was feeling fine. She was a little tired, but did really well. As soon as we came in, we had to meet with Dr. Quintana, my Mom's doctor. He wanted to look at the MRI's and see what it said. So, he took them from us and said he would catch up with us later to discuss them. About an hour later, he pulled me aside and explained to me what he saw. He said that my Mom's tumor was unfortunately growing. There also was lots of swelling, he said. This devastated me, hearing this. He saw that I was upset, and told me to not tell my sister or Mom. He didn't want to make them upset yet. He had planned on meeting with us that night to explain to them. Well, everyone could tell that I had been crying so I had to tell what I heard. Mandy had a really tough time with it, but my Mom did okay. She was sad, but reassured me that she would be healed.

Then early this morning, around 2:00, my Mom started to get a bad headache. We woke up the doctor and he gave us a pill, that he said possibly would work. After an hour, my Mom was still in pain and it just kept getting more and more intense. I talked to the nurse and she didn't speak much English, so she ended up giving my Mom a nausea pill. I had mentioned that I felt very sick to my stomach, so I think she thought it was my Mom. Anyway, around 4:00, we woke up Dr. Quintana again and asked him to come see my Mom. She was tossing around and moaning pretty loud. I felt so bad for her. I prayed so much, but just felt lost. He ended up coming in and could tell that my Mom was barely conscience. She didn't know where she was, or who anyone was. It was hard for her to open her eyes also. So, he started an IV for her with medicine to bring down the swelling. He also put her steroids up to 24 milligrams daily. This helped for a short period of time and then we think it is possible she had a very minor seizure. She was sitting down and her eyes rolled back and just slumped over against me. It seems like when these things happen, it is always with me and there is nothing I can do. I didn't want to scream for help and scare all the patients, so I prayed and prayed and prayed. After about 5 minutes, which felt like forever, my Mom came out of it and stood up on her own, to go back to bed. I was so happy. I ran to get the doctor, and they were all very scared. They didn't imagine she would get so bad. I mean, she was fine the day before. So, we had two doctors and one nurse in with her. At this point, my Mom wasn't responding. She wouldn't open her eyes, and they said that there was very severe swelling. Just so much. She got to the point she couldn't swollow either. It was so scary. They ended up starting a new IV, and after about an hour, my Mom was much better. She could talk some, walk, and she knew who we all were. Praise God! She also was able to drink something. I think she had 3 chocolate protein shakes! :)

One very odd, but neat thing did happen. My Mom had just started felling better, and a lady knocked on our door. She came in and said she had been wanting to introduce herself to my Mom. She was at the hospital because of brain tumors. She actually is cancer free. She had lung cancer, and it turned into brain cancer. I think they gave her 6 months to live. She use a gamma knife to cut most of the tumors out, but then came down to the hospital to get rid of the rest. She was down for 3 weeks, and in that short amount of time, it got rid of all the lung cancer. She said she believed that God led her to come and talk with my Mom. She said she just wanted to touch her and pray for her. And as she layed hands on her, she looked at her, and said, "You are going to be alright, I just know you will be." OH, I needed that so much. It was like God just opened a door for me and showed me a glipse of the light. Even when we are walking through these dark and tough times, we have to know that it's not too far from the light. We have to have hope. So, I still do truly believe that God will heal my Mom.

Later on, the doctor told us that the only thing left for my Mom is high dosage of chemo-therapy and radition. We have been so against this, but now we are going to try. Dr. Quintana really cares about my Mom, and he thinks it is best. We talked as a family about it, and think we should. So, today we met with the radiologist and he drew on my Mom's face. That way the technicians will know where to direct the radiation. I think my Mom might start that tomorrow. As far as chemo goes, she will most likely start Monday. She will get 1 to 2 doses a week, but then must wait 3 weeks to do another round, so we will be in Mexico for quite a long time. As far as I know. I am still praying for my Mom's healing. I need to have persistance in my prayers. :)

Pray for me also, that I will have the strength to be strong for my Mom and for my sister. She's having a hard time and I try to explain to her not to do that. It's really hard on my Mom to see us like that. We can't give up.

I'll write more when I know more!

Love, Danielle

MRI and BIRTHDAY

Okay, I'm sorry it's been awhile since I have wrote anything. I've been waiting until today though, so I could let you know something about the MRI results. Well, I'm sorry to say this, but I still can't tell you very much. Just because, I don't know very much. I have what I think, but I could be 100% wrong. What is looks like to me is that the tumors have either stayed the same or shrunk, but the swelling is much greater. On the picture, almost half of her brain is taken up by gray, when the rest of the brain is black. So we aren't sure if that is the tumor or the swelling. We are really praying it is the swelling. It makes since it would be the swelling.

I had a long talk with David last night, and we both said that no matter what the results said, we wouldn't stop believing that God is going to heal my Mom. He does what gets most glory to him, and through my finite brain, it seems that he would get so much glory this way. There are many friends of ours, that would almost mock us with something were to happen to my Mom, because we didn't use traditional medicine. Also, things as far as custody of my sister and I would be such a disaster. I hope I never have to go through that. So, no matter what, as long as my Mom is still breathing, I will believe that God is going to heal her. Or, I am praying that I can always believe that. When things get tough it is hard to always think that way. I want to give up and lose hope, or run away from my problems, but that never changes anything. I have to rely on the Lord for my strength, and know that he will get me through it.

On a better note, my Mom's birthday was really good! I think she enjoyed it more than she would have thought she could. We had lots of visitors today and lots of cards and flowers showing up. It was so nice to see my Mom getting excited. She hasn't been so happy for a long time. Instead of going out to eat, like we do for b-days, we bought steaks and grilled them at home. The Lord blessed us with great weather today, in the upper 80's, maybe even the 90's. It was just a really good day.

Tomorrow, I get to look forward to laundry and packing, OH and cleaning and cooking. Those are a given though. :) I'm also looking forward to cutting my Mom's hair tomorrow. I cut mine tonight, but that was a first...and a last. I won't do that again. It's too hard, I'll stick with other people's hair. Hopefully mine will grow out soon!

Thank you everyone who has been leaving comments on my blog and has been praying. May the Lord bless all of you!

Love, Danielle