Addition to my last post....

Here are just some pictures from our Christmas Eve and Christmas....sorry most of them are so fuzzy and blurry! I'll post them anyway though. My Mom looks much better now! (The thing in my Mom's nose was a feeding tube)

These are from Christmas Eve or the day before, I can't remember

These are from Christmas Day!

Letting God Heal

Last night David and I talked a long time about everything that has happened with my Mom. We both agreed that since the beginning, she has only gotten worse. With few exceptions of days when she felt really good. Now, with man's eyes, our situation seems hopeless. Without God it is impossible for my Mom to be healed. They have given her 6 months or less to live. I wonder to myself, Why am I okay with this? I think the number one reason is because I don't believe it. Since the beginning I have had hope that my Mom will be healed. Now I have had to think a lot though, what if he doesn't? Will I be okay with it? Will I get mad at God? After a long time thinking I realized I wouldn't. How could I? Either way my Mom will win...she still wont get to see me marry, or see her grandkids, but she will be in the prescence of God! I will be the one to suffer and I'll miss her so much, but in time I will be okay too. I realized last night that if my Mom were to be healed in Mexico, man could have gotten the credit. Our family wouldn't have thought it was them, but others could have. Also, if the radiation would have worked, people could have accredited to the doctors in the states. We have decided to sit back and let God heal her. We want him to get all the credit. We have friends who say they don't believe in miracles. They think that was a New Testament thing, not a now a days thing. Maybe my Mom's healing will change their minds? I don't know. I firmly believe in this coming year, my Mom will be healed. In the bible 7 is complete and 8 a new beggining. I am praying that 2007 will be like that for us. I'm not supersticious or anything but I keep telling myself by July my Mom will be better. If she isn't that's okay, but if she is even alive in July, that is amazing in itself! I think our family in particular is very excited about this New Year!

Last night something encouraging happened with my Mom. All of you who read this blog will know before the update list does! My Mom has had like burns on her forhead since the radiation. While in the hospital, the nurse told us that it will never come off. I couldn't believe it. Then yesterday a friend of ours brought my Mom some facial wipes. Now, you have to know, we have washed my Mom's face many times-everyday...but last night as I was using those wipes, the burn marks were coming off. Mandy and I wiped for about 20 min. and they all came off! Praise God! It's not that the marks were horrible, but once again my Mom beat the odds! When they say it can't be done, God shows that it can...Thanks God! Here are the before and after pictures...
Pretty neat huh? Well, I guess that is all for today. My Mom has been quiet all morning and we are praying that she perks up again. We have cut her steroids from 40mg. to 24mg. in a matter of 2 days, so I'm hoping she will bounce back. Thank you for all that are praying, I really do appreciate it!

Danielle

So Much To Say...So Little Time

Alright, I know it has been a long time since I have posted anything, but I do have an excuse this time. It all started on Wednesday, December 21st. Everything seemed to be going okay in the morning. My Mom felt good and everything seemed alright. Then my grandparents showed up with some Christmas gifts for my Mom. Oh, actually I just remembered. Wednesday morning, everything wasn't fine. My Mom couldn't remember things too well, and she didn't recognize us, or at least she said she couldn't. Then in the afternoon after opening a Christmas gift, my Mom went into a seizure.

At first it didn't scare me, because she has had them before and they last abot 45 seconds. So, after 30 seconds I went over to her and just started praying for her. Then, my Grandma made the comment, I think your Mom is having a seizure. She didn't know that I knew. After about a minute, my Mom started shaking all over and it just got really bad. My Grandpa got the time so we could see how long it was. After 5 minutes, and no changes...only for the worst, my Grandpa called 911. About 8 or 9 minutes into the seizure my Mom stopped breathing. I couldn't find her pulse and couldn't get her blood pressure. It was so scary for me. I really realized then that there is nothing we can do. God is ultimately in control, so the only thing worth doing is to pray. And that's what I did, althought I did believe my Mom had died. After 15 minutes the seizure had stopped and my Grandpa did mouth to mouth and she started breathing on her own again, she was still unconscience though. The paramedics showed up and said she was in a stable condition. They said it is actually safer for her to stay unconscise.

As she was being loaded into the ambulance David showed up at the house. He came home as soon as he heard about Mom. On the way to the hospital my Mom did regain conscienceness. The guy riding in the back with her told me that she was following commands, she just couldn't talk.

They ended up taking her into St. Josephs West in Lake St. Louis. They said that she needed to be admitted into ICU that night, untill they could get her medications under control. On Thursday morning, we went to see my Mom and she looked much better. She was on NO oxygen! We couldn't believe it. Her level was staying at 98 to 100%, when the night before she was at 84 with no oxygen on. Praise God for that!

Then on Thursday to our surprise the whole Myers Family came up from Kentucky to see us and deliver my Mom's Christmas present, the Quilt! We had such a great time with them. That could have been a really tough day for us, with all of the stress of being at the hospital, but they made it so much better. We have been so blessed by their family. Since she was doing so good on Thursday we figured she would come home on Friday.

On Friday, my Mom was much worse. She was swallowing because she was so tired. She couldn't stay away from one bite to the next. The doctor was in the room while I was trying to feed her so he said he thought it best to keep her another day and see how she was. And if she wasn't eating, he suggested putting a feeding tube in. So Friday, Lora Tate, took Mandy and I shopping to get our mind off things that day! We have really great friends! :) It was nice to spend the day with her.

On Saturday, my Mom was still doing pretty bad. She wasn't eating so they did order to have a feeding tube put in. The doctor gave us the results from her MRI and said that the two tumors appeared to be one large mass now. There was lots of swelling, but the size of the tumor didn't seem to change from the MRI done in October...which is good! From August to October it grew 2 mm, but from October 2nd to December 22, it didn't grow! Praise God!

Okay, this is turning out to be really long....On Sunday when we went in to see my Mom she was doing really good. We were so happy to see how she had improved. She was eating and she stayed awake almost the entire day. We were almost positive then that she would be coming home for Christmas! Well...on Monday morning all of us, plus Tara and Jason and David's Dad, went up to the hospital to open presents and celebrate Christmas up there. When we got there, my Mom wasn't doing as good as before. She wasn't eating again, and was very tired. She was able to stay awake while opening her gifts but that was it. So, unfortanately she didn't get to come home on Christmas. Around 2:00 on Christmas my Dad picked Mandy and me up to go to my Grandmas house. I had a good time, but towards the evening I started feeling really sick. I just went in the back bedroom and cried. All I could think about was my Mom. When we left the hospital she didn't look good at all and my Grandpa had made a comment, "Oh, so your Mom seems to be like she is at the end"---That didn't help at all. I hated facing the truth, but that night it stood right in front of my face. I was really scared and I missed my Mom.

On Tuesday my Dad dropped us off at the hospital and my Mom was up in her bed and ready to go. They had taken out the feeding tube and she was anxious to go home. She looked a lot better. She still wasn't talking, but she felt better. So, around 2:00 the ambulance brought her back home. She was so happy to be home! As soon as she got put back in her bed she fell asleep and slept untill 10:00. When she woke up she was talking a little bit. We decided to have her open a few more Christmas presents that we forgot to bring up. She was very alert and was excited about each gift. I then asked her if she remembered what gift I had gotten her, and she didn't. So, I brought the quilt back out. She loved seeing it. She didn't remember it at all. She was so interested seeing who made each block and what each block said. I really enjoyed the time last night reading them to her. Everyone did a wonderful job on their block! And thanks Hannah, for making the quilt for me! :)

So, last night I slept out in the living room with my Mom and around 3:00 I woke up and checked on her. She was awake, just laying there. I got up to turn off the TV it was playing the same song over and over again, and as I was walking to it, my Mom said to me, "Danielle, will you turn that thing off, It's been playing for an hour and a half!" I couldn't believe it! She hadn't talked that much for a long time! I was so happy. I stayed up a little while with her talking and then we both fell asleep. When we woke up that morning she was still talking just as good. It was so encouraging to see her like that again. Mrs. Osborne came today and my Mom stayed up almost the whole day talking with us.

The Hospice nurse came today also to have me fill out information. She said they will have a nurse out every day to check on my Mom. I never thought we would put my Mom on hospice, but I had to get to the point where it wasn't that we were giving up, just getting help. A friend helped me change my out look on that.

We are still praying for a miracle, because that is what it will take. I haven't given up hope, even though many think I am crazy. I sort of feel like Noah. He told everyone that it was going to rain, but no one believed him. I think, a lot of people must have thought he was crazy, I would have. I know I must seem like I am hiding from reality, or don't want to face the truth, but I really do believe she will be healed. Even though, every sign points to death, I just can't believe that.

Please continue to pray for my Mom and thanks for the prayers already!

Scared

Fear is such a horrible thing, but to overcome it is so difficult. How will I ever get over this, will I never not be afraid again? Everything seemed to be going fine, my Mom was getting better, why do things have to change so quickly? I'm really scared.

It's not that my Mom is really bad, she just started having seizures again. They are small, but they are there. I know God is in control and there is nothing I can do about it, but being at home with her, and me being the oldest is scary. I feel that things are my fault or if there was something I could have done to prevent it. I hate seeing my Mom like this. Now, she has a hard time remembering my name, my age, where we are. She thinks I'm 6, and she can't come up with my name. She said she has 7 kids, when we only have 4. I'm really hoping this is all a result from the Dilantin, the seizure medicaiton. It makes her very tired.

I've been so confident through all of this that she will be healed, and I'm still trying to believe that. I can't give up, but what do I do, when I feel so alone and scared? I've been praying so much, but I can't talk to anyone in our family. My sister doesn't want to talk about it, and David thinks I just want to be in control. It's really hard. Please, continue to pray for my Mom. I don't want her to give up, she has to keep going on. Maybe today is just a bad day, I'm praying that's all.

A friend once said, well it's in the bible too!, but Love casts out fear...Is it the devil placing all this doubt? Maybe he just wants me to lose sight of my goal. Maybe the seizures aren't related to her cancer? Even if the cancer is still growing, God can heal her. Right?

Decorating Night

Last Friday night, my sister Tara came over to help put the ornaments on the tree. We had such a good time together. My Mom was feeling really good and was so anxious for us to start the treee. We were all hungry so we wanted to eat first. :)

It was neat to go through all of our ornaments and remember back to when they were made or how we had gotten them. Even though the tree has nothing to do with the birth of Christ and it really is just vain, I think it's important because it is a time when the family all comes together, (or at least in our family) and puts aside anything that has happened before to just go back over the happy times. When looking at the ornaments, we don't think of all those bad Christmas's we had, but we remember all the good ones. Even though my Mom's memory is sometimes not the best, she could remember every ornament. It amazed us! She knew how old we were when we made it or where the ornament was bought, or who gave it to us. We found out though that ornament cookies don't last 5 years in a box...Mandy's cookie ornament had turned to a powdery substance over the last few years. Also, note to self...If a candy cane gets unwrapped and there is moisture in the box, it WILL stick to other ornaments! :) Consequently, lots of our ornaments got thrown out this year. We will just have to make new ones! I have lots of pictures for this post. The ballerina ornament was given to me last Christmas from my aunt. We went to the Nutcracker and she bought it for me. Isn't it pretty??

Here is a picture of our Christmas tree, with the house lights off. I tried to get a good one, but it just wouldn't work! :)









After we were done decorating the tree, I got some pictures of our family and of my Mom. She might seem like she looks sick in these pictures, but she really does look much better in these. I just didn't take any when she was so sick.





My Dad came to get Mandy and me on Saturday. When he saw my Mom he thought she looked very bad, but he hadn't seen her since September, that was before she got Radiation. We assured him though, that she was doing much better. We had a great time with my Dad. It has been over a month since we have seen my Dad and 3 months for my brother and step-mom, Angie. It was nice to spend time with them and play with Lane. I can't believe how big he has gotten. We tease, that he is a little man. He acts so much older and looks older, he will be 5 in January though. The pictures of him, aren't so good. He had been sleeping, so he didn't want me to take his picture. He is pretending to be sleeping in these. :)





I better go. I have more wrapping to do and have to check on our dinner! Enjoy the pictures!

Joy Overcomes

As I am writing this, my Mom and Mandy are sleeping. We are all so tired. Sometimes my Mom requires our help through the night and we have to stay up untill 12:00 to give her the steroids, so we really are so tired. Usually I am one to sleep a lot, but for some reason, the Lord has been getting me through these day and I'm not totally exhausted. :) Helping my Mom has been such a joy. I've learned a lot and am learning patience through all of it...I think. Maybe now I will be better equipped to have a family and raise kids, who knows?

My Mom has been doing so much better since we got home. Today has been the best day yet. She is getting stronger, and remembers more and more each day. It's so neat to see. Today she was so anxious for me to get the house edition plans sent to Jonathan, so he could go over them. (He will possibly be the one to build the edition) I had lots of problems though. I couldn't get my scanner to connect with my Mac. We had to finally resort to a PC, I still don't know why it worked with my computer? When David gets home, I'm sure he can help me figure it out.

Yesterday was really nice, I got to see my little girl! Actually she isn't mine, but I used to babysit her everyday since she was 3 months old. Now she is almost 2. She feels like mine, but I am so sad, because in January she will be moving to North Carolina. I'll miss her so much. She has a little brother also, but I'm partial to Amari! :) On the right is a picture of her at our house, one year ago, and the left is a picture of her taken yesterday. She has grown up so much! I hope I can have a little girl just like her, well...sort of like her, just a little better disciplined...Right Chrissy! Oh, here is a picture of her hair from the back, I can't believe it is this long. :) Okay, that's probably enough pictures. Sometimes I can get carried away.

My next post I should have lots of pictures. Tonight my sister, Tara is coming over and we are going to decorate the Christmas tree. I'm really excited. We haven't put up decorations for the past 5 years, so it will be neat to go back through all of the decorations and ornaments and remember back. I think it will be very special for us! The tree will look very pretty too...I think!

Well, my Mom just woke up and I've got some things to do. By Monday, I will have more to write about!

We are Home!

I know, it's been so long since I have updated everyone...I'm sorry! We got home on Monday from Chula Vista, California. They didn't actually release my Mom, we just signed her out. She was getting so depressed from staying there, we actually thought she would get better being at home. I was very afraid though about the flight. She hadn't sat up for over 4 weeks, how could she possibly sit for 6 hours? God made it happen though!

While on the plane, my Mom found one position that wasn't too bad. She would lay over onto David where it took pressure off her sores. For about an hour and 45 minutes she was able to sleep like that. When we got to the airport in St. Louis, my sister Tara, and friend Joan were there to see us, and our friend Lora, came to pick us up. We were so happy to see all of them. My Mom's face lit up when she saw Tara. It was hard for Tara though, because last she had seen Mom, she was walking, now she can barely hold her head up...she is getting better though. :)

We've been home two days, and I'm worn out. I do really enjoy all the work though. I believe there is a reason I am learning to do all these things, I'm not sure what it is, but there has to be a purpose. Mandy and I have got it down to a system how to change my Mom, and I've learned to give shots. I thought it would scare me, but it really was quite simple. I thought I was going to hurt my Mom alot, but she said she couldn't even feel it. Thank God!

We have a nurse that comes out 3 times a week, just to check her INR in her blood and to check some vital signs for her record. My grandparents came out today and hopefully tomorrow will be back. It's nice to have some company. I still was able to get lots done today. When we got home our house was a wreck, actually we left it that way. So, Mandy and I knew we had our work cut out for us. It's hard though, trying to balance, the nursing, cooking, and cleaning. Oh...and rest, we are trying to find time for that. It's not happening too much though. David has given me permission to take naps for the past two days, but I haven't had time to take a nap yet. Today I had to go to the grocery store to get some food for us, and since then I was pretty busy. I did take like a 40 minute break though, talking to a friend from the hospital in CA. I folded clothes while I talked though...so I made up for lost time.

Last night and today we have been putting up Christmas decorations. This is our first Christmas in 5 years we have celebrated. I'm so excited. We have the tree up, but are waiting till' Friday to do the ornaments. It's always been a tradition that all of us kids are home when we do it. It's been neat unpacking the boxes and going through the old decorations. It helps us stay in good moods.

I think that is most of the news, and I don't have time to write more. I'm sorry if it takes me a few days to post. I'll try to be more prompt about it. :)

Thanks for all of the prayers!

Wonderful Updates on Mom

A lot has happened since I last blogged…

First my Mom is off life support! Praise God! They ended up taking her off on Saturday. My Mom was so excited to be getting it out. She passed all the tests with no complications so they thought it would be no problem to have her breathing on her own. After taking the tube out they say it is best not to talk for the first 2 hours to give your vocal cords a time to rest. She had no problem with that. She was very tired and wanted to rest anyway.

While she was resting we wanted to go and celebrate! David took us to Outback Steakhouse. We don’t usually go somewhere that expensive so it was a treat for us. If you can believe it, I actually tried sashimi (sp?) David ordered it as an appetizer and he wanted us to try it. Our waiter also said I should. I tried explaining that I don’t even like fish cooked, so raw definitely wouldn’t be good. Finally though, I gave in and tried a piece. I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but it actually wasn’t bad. It didn’t taste fishy and the texture wasn’t bad either. I wouldn’t go and order it anywhere though. ☺ After the bite I stuck to the blooming onion!

When we got back to the hospital we got to talk to my Mom a lot. Her voice was a whisper for the first 2 days and it sort of is now, just a little louder. It’s so nice to be able to talk to her again, or I mean to have her talk to me. It’s weird how often things get put into perspective for me. While in Mexico there were many times when I wanted to be doing things rather then being stuck in our room with my Mom. It was just so boring in the room with her. Now, that my Mom was on life support, everything has changed. Each morning I can’t wait to get to the hospital to see her and I like staying late at night also. Going for one week without my Mom being able to tell me things was really hard. I would cry almost every day being in the room with her, it’s hard seeing someone you love so much just laying there, not being able to do anything or say anything. Cherish everyday you have with your parents and family. Actually with everyone, friends family…all your loved ones. We really never know how long we have. Life is precious.

Yesterday we had friends and family come down to visit. My Mom really enjoyed their visit. She made a comment to me, I asked her if she wanted to rest because she had been up for a long time and she said to me, “When I sleep, everyone goes home” She thought they would all leave if she fell asleep. I assured her that they would all be here when she got up. Actually, we weren’t there, but she knew we were getting something to eat. She did get to see all of them again though. After eating dinner we came back to the hospital and Art and I played guitar while we all sang. I think my Mom really enjoyed it. I know I did. Art is such a great guitar player, I always wish I had more time with him so he could teach me some things. I learned a few things though. ☺

Last night we got a call around 11:00 and it was my Mom on the phone. She told David that he better come down to the hospital because she didn’t think she was going to make it. He asked her what she meant, and she said I’m not going to make it! David then asked to talk to the nurse and he told David that there was nothing wrong with her. She just was very nervous. So, David asked him to give her something to calm her down and call if it gets worse. Well, there was no more phone calls through the night, so around 7:00 I called and asked how she did. The nurse told me that after he gave her the medication she fell asleep for about 6 hours. (Which is really good!) When we got to the hospital this morning we asked her about the phone call last night and she just said she was terrified. She gets scared because she is in the room by herself. She really wants one of us to stay there with her, but as long as she is in ICU we can’t. She is better today though. We have been told that when a patient comes off morphene these symptoms can occur, it happened with my grandma and one of my sisters friends Dad. For some reason they think that the nurses are monsters and everyone is trying to hurt them. I know it must be so scary for my Mom.

Right now they are doing a swallowing test, if she passes they will take out the feeding tube in her nose. They couldn’t do it yesterday, because they said it takes a few days for the swelling to go down in her throat. I hope she does fine, because she really wants to eat! Then also, later today they probably will move her to a new room. YEAH! Out of ICU, and then one of us can sleep in the room with her! I’ll let you all know if she gets moved. David thinks for some reason we will be home by Thursday, I don’t know…I really want to go home, but I also really wanted to see the Dortignacs one more time, and their friends! ☺ We will have to see, I guess.

That’s all of our news…Thanks for all of the prayers!

Fun and Friends

The last two days have been pretty good. Not exactly with my Mom, but for the rest of us here. I mean, my Mom is okay, just slowly getting better. For awhile it seemed like she was making lots of progress and then it all sort of stopped. She didn't get worse, but from what we could tell she wasn't getting better. They ended up deciding to do some sort of procedure yesterday where they go in and get a sample of what is inside. I think they call it a flush...not a wipe! (Right Mandy!!!) :)

Everything went well with that procedure and they told us today that it seems like the pneumonia is gone, but they did find some kind of fungus. That's not really a great thing, but it isn't hard to treat. They just will give her a new medication and it should get rid of it. They don't seem concerned at all about it. When we went to the hospital today, my Mom was awake and very alert. I walked in and she was tapping the side of the bed...I think she was trying to get someones attention. She needed to be turned over, when she lays in the same spot for long periods of time, it starts to hurt. The nurse told us that her blood pressure was going up, which is good, so they are starting to wean her off the blood pressure medication. We also met with the doctor and he said he is going to try to wean her off the life support today also. He leaves the tube in her, just turns it off. Then he will watch to see if her breathing pattern is regular and she is getting enough oxygen. We are praying that it will all go okay.

On Wednesday I talked to Mandy Dortignac and she said that a few of her sisters could come down to Chula Vista to visit us for awhile. We were very excited, because we've only met them once and it was for like 4 hours, 2 years ago. Their family lives in..umm...somewhere near Chino and Diamond Bar, in California. Sorry, I'm not sure the name of the city. They ended up getting to our hotel around 3:30. Mandy, Annie, and Joanna all came. First we went to the hospital to see my Mom. They had never met my Mom before, so I'm sure it was ackward for them to go in and see her that way, but they didn't seem to mind. After sitting around and talking at the hospital for awhile, Mandy invited us to go to a different families house for dinner with them. The family lived in Chula Vista. I kind of feel bad, because we had been telling them how much we were getting sick of eating out and wondering where our next meal would be...Chinese or the Mexican Restaurant. So, I hope they didn't think they had to invite us for a home cooked meal. Anyways, we had a really good time at their house and a great meal! The family was very hospitable and has offered us to come back anytime.

On Thursday morning, we met back up with the girls and then they took Mandy and I to the beach, it was very close to the Mexican border. It was so nice to be so close to Mexico again. We could actually see the same islands we see from the hospital window. For some reason that was really neat to us. From there we went with them back up neat their house, actually I think it was Riverside. David also took a trip up to Chino to see our aunt and uncle.

We had a great time with the Dortignacs and all of their friends. We played a lot of volleyball, it started out really bad, but then we started playing speed volleyball and it got much funner...wait that's not a word! :) After playing volleyball we decided to jump on the trampoline. Mandy D. said she has always wanted to learn to do a back flip, so we thought we should teach her. Within 10 minutes she had it down and by the end of the night I think 5 or 6 learned how to do them. And they all were so good. I feel horrible though, because Jack had it down, but then one time he was trying 2 in a row and he landed some weird way and hurt himself. After moaning awhile and then laying still he got up and said he was fine, but I think it must have really hurt him. I hope he is feeling better now. That's always my biggest fear, that someone who we have taught gets hurt badly. :(

David ended up picking us up from their house around 11:00 and then stayed and talked for awhile. So, we got back to National City around 2:30 am and then I got to sleep around 3:00 or 3:30. I am exhausted today! We spent most of the day today at a music store called Guitar Center. Since I didn't bring my guitar this time I am having withdraws. David suprised us and took us there. We had a really good time. I spent lots of time playing different guitars and Mandy like playing on the keyboards. Do I even have to mention what we came home with??? Oh boy! :)

Well, this is turning into a very long post and I need to get going. We are hoping to spend more time with the Dortignac Family and their friends, God willing. They invited us to church this Sunday or pizza night next Friday. We are sort of hoping we will be home by next Friday though...

Thanks for all the prayers!

Another Update

Well, it's Tuesday and my Mom is doing much better than she was when she was put on the breathing tube. She is still on 40% oxygen, but she is doing good. Their intentions were to take her off life support today, but when they tried decreasing the breaths that the machine gave her, her heart rate when up. Her oxygen stayed up, but her heart rate jumped to around 130. The doctors just want her to stay calm and not have to struggle at all, so they turned it back to regular settings. So, it seems that she wont be coming off today, but possibly tomorrow. My Mom is pretty bummed out though. She really wants the tube out, and I can't wait till' she can talk to me.

Last night we went to the mall and bought my Mom a bear. It was one of those places where you stuff the bear yourself and pick out an outfit for it. So, we got my Mom a dark brown bear and picked out some scrubs with a doctors coat and mask with it. It looks very cute. I will try to take a picture of it tomorrow and post it. We were going to wait until my Mom was off the breathing tube to give it to her, but she was awake this morning and we decided to give it to her then. I think she likes it, she started to cry when we gave it to her.

I guess that is all of my news! We bought a DVD player last night for our room, so we are finally able to watch some of our DVD's. We have bought a lot of new ones since we've been here. Last night we watched the Christmas Child, a movie with Stephen Curtis Chapman in it. We also bought the second season of the Waltons---haven't watched those yet! I'm looking forward to it though. We also ordered in pizza last night to the room. It was a lot of fun. None of us were hungry at dinner time, but around 8:30 we started to, so it was David's idea to order in. I'm hoping one more time we can do that! :)

Tears of Joy

Yesterday we went to the hospital to see my Mom and she still was just laying there. I never know if she is sleeping, or not totally there, or if she can hear us. It's confusing. David had promised my Mom though, that we would sing to her while she is like this. So, yesterday morning we sang a few hymns to her. We noticed her heart rate going up though...a little too high, so we stopped singing. Through the night her heart rate had gotten to 105, so 120 was too high. We noticed when we stopped singing it would go down. I guess our singing isn't the best!

Then we went out in the lobby for awhile and Mandy and I decided to go back in and see her. When we walked in, my Mom was awake. I couldn't help but cry. I was so happy. I started talking to my Mom, telling her how good she was doing and that I loved her so much. I also asked her if she knew who I was. After all these questions my Mom would nod her head yes and no and then she started to cry. By this time I really couldn't stop crying. My Mom was trying to talk to me she wanted to say something, but everytime she tried, her oxygen would go down to around 95 or 93. I was so happy to see her. Since they put the tube in before we got to the hospital, I didn't get to see my Mom. I had the slightest doubt that I never would again. I was overjoyed to see my Mom...I love her so much! For about the next 30 minutes, I just cried. Not because I was sad, but I was so happy! I tried to stop crying, I just couldn't...Weird!

Throughout the day, I actually got to see my Mom 4 times. She would communicate with me by nodding her head. She definately knows what is going on and knows who we all are. The doctors said she is on a light sedative, so she can easily wake up. They just like keeping her asleep because she stays calmer. They did a chest x-ray of her and found less liquid in her lungs, that means things are getting better! Praise God! Also, her oxygen was up to 100% with only 70% oxygen from the breathing tube.

I am so excited to go and see my Mom today. Maybe today I will get to talk to her again. Thank you for all the prayers and encouragement!

Please Pray

There have been so many changes in the last few days. I was going to blog, but it seems like new things just keep coming up...it's very scary. On Wednesday my Mom started having trouble breathing and her oxygen was low. So they started her on some oxygen. Even with oxygen she only got to about 96. Usually we are supposed to be 99 or 100. When she would take of the mask her oxygen level would drop to 81 or 82. Then the doctor listened to her breathing and said he could hear she was having difficulty in one of her lungs. He went ahead and started her on antibiotics thinking it was pneumonia. Later that night we did find out for sure, that yes, she does have pneumonia. So, on Thursday, the Dr. Quintana came in to work and had a specialist with him to check my Mom. After checking very closely they both suggested she go to San Diego to a hospital that can give her more attention. So, they transported her by ambulance from Mexico to Chula Vista, CA. David rode in the ambulance with my Mom and Mandy and I followed in a van. After being in the ER for awhile we found out that my Mom does have pneumonia in both lungs and also has blood clots in her legs and now up to her lungs. Blood clots are not good! The doctor said they can be very dangerous, especially if they go to the heart. So, they admitted her into ICU and we started talking about what we could do. Although my Mom has these problems she looked very good. They put her on oxygen and got her up to 100% Her color was good and she was in good spirits. Most of all, she was hungry! The two weeks we were in Mexico my Mom couldn't eat. We were happy that she was so hungry.

Usually with blood clots they give you blood thinners. With my Mom's case they were worried that she could start bleeding in the brain because of the tumors. So they wanted to do a CT scan on her brain. That was the only good news we have had! They did the scan yesterday morning and found lots of necrosis (sp?) Necrosis, or how ever you spell it, is dead cancer tissue. The doctor said that there was lots and lots of it in her brain! Praise God! The Lord has chosen to use something to heal my Mom of her tumors. Right now we are just battling something different. Cancer is just a minor problem.

Well, yesterday Mandy and I went back down to Mexico to pack up all of our things and say good-bye. When we left my Mom was doing pretty good. They had just decided to give her a blood transfusion, but usually that isn't too serious. We kept in contact with David and he kept saying everything was fine. Then this morning we got to the hospital around 10:30----the border was crowded! When we got into the lobby David was there to meet us. I was pretty sure something was wrong because he didn't look too happy. He started explaining to me that this morning he got a phone call that my Mom was getting so paniced and he needed to get to the hospital to calm her down. So, he went there and tried calming her down and he did pretty well it's just that she had a hard time breathing. Her oxygen was getting very low and I think it was hard for her. The doctor suggested to David that they put in a breathing tube. My Mom was in agreement with this, so they gave her something to sedate her and put in the tube. So, now my Mom is on what they call, "Life Support" She is unconscience, but breathing okay. It was so hard for me to see my Mom like that.

David said that instead of us sitting in the room with my Mom we need to do things to get our minds off of it. This seems so odd, because he never says things like that. So, we have left the hospital and changed hotels. Our last one we had to leave, because our iPod got stollen, it wasn't too good. Now we are at a Holiday Inn. They are so nice here. They are giving us the same rate as the last hotel, but the place here is so much better! :) I think we are going to do some shopping today and then maybe during the week we will go to the San Diego Zoo. I'm not sure, anything can change.

Please continue to pray for my Mom. God can still work miracles!
Love, Danielle

My Weekend

Okay, I think I have time now to write about our weekend…

First, David Ingrassano came down Friday night to visit and do some more interviews. It was good to see him again. We stayed up late Friday night interviewing and then had a big day Saturday. Our friends Art and Adele told us they would be coming down on Saturday we just weren’t sure what time. So, they arrived around 12:00, just as we were getting ready to go get some lunch. Since, David drove down to MX, we could use his car to go out. He took me to a Taco Stand called “Tacos Manuel” It was very good. We bought lots of quesadillas and some tacos to bring back to the hospital to eat.

After lunch, Art and Adele and their daughter Alyssa took Mandy and I to the flea market in Rosarito. It was a lot of fun because we got to see all of our friends there again. Since we have been to Mexico so much they remember us every time we come. There are about 3 of them that always stop us. I ended up buying a bracelet I really didn’t need just so I could buy something from my friend. Last time we were there, I had bought my purse from her, so I wanted to make it a tradition! ☺ I do like the bracelet though…

When we got home we sat in my Mom’s room and sang. Art brought his guitar and played for us. He is a fantastic guitarist. We actually sang right through dinner. Art and Adele and Alyssa had to leave by 7:00, so we didn’t want to waste our time sitting and eating. We really enjoyed our time with them. It wasn’t until 8:30 or 9:00 that we started thinking about what to do for dinner. So, David I. and Mandy went this time to Tacos Manuel to get more food. Eve though we had it for lunch it was still so good for dinner! In order to burn the calories from eating that late, we got in the hot tub afterwards until 12:00. No, it really was just a good excuse…I’m sure we didn’t burn any calories! ☺

By Sunday morning I was exhausted. I could barely wake up. I think I was a little late to breakfast, it didn’t matter though. We were planning to have a little church service at 9:30 with the other patients. David had to leave before we started but after he was gone we sang some hymns and everyone who wanted to shared something or read from the bible. It really encouraged me and my Mom. We’ve all decided to choose LIFE! After our service Mary Ellen, the daughter of patients asked me if I wanted to go with her to an orphanage. I was so excited because I’ve always wanted to go to an orphanage in Mexico. Our plans changed rather quickly though. Dr. Cruz, invited me to go to church with his family at 12:00. So I told Mary Ellen about it and she said she also always wanted to go to a Spanish speaking church. So, this worked out good. We figured we could take a taxi from the church to Ensenada where the orphanage is.

The church service was rather different. It was a Pentecostal church, but not like the ones in the states, or at least what I know of them. The music was so loud and there were lots of people dancing and jumping around. Kind of strange. Even though everyone seemed very different, they all had a heart towards the Lord. At first I was thinking it was all show, but I got to know one of the members pretty well and it isn’t show at all. It’s real! From church we got a guy, Jesus, actually pronounced Hey-Sus, to take us to Ensenada. His job is a taxi driver, so he didn’t mind at all. Ensenada is about an hour and 10 minute drive so we got to know him pretty well. He speaks okay English, but not enough to really carry on long conversations.

Now about the orphanage…Our visit was very different from what I thought it would be, but it was still nice. I pictured us playing with kids and holding them, but in reality, we weren’t even allowed to touch the kids. I guess the Mexican Government is very strict about that. The workers from the orphanage really aren’t supposed to touch the kids either, but they do. The kids seemed so loved though. The orphanage was like a big church camp. They had dorms for the girls and one for the boys. It really didn’t seem like a bad place to live. I was told that most of the children have parents, they just have been abused some ways, or they can’t be taken care of at home. Only a few were really orphans.

(Picture on Right- Intern with girl from Orphanage
Bottom- Intern with Omar orphan boy)

On our way back home we all got really hungry! We had missed dinner at the hospital, so we planned on taking Jesus out to dinner. He was only charging us for the gas money to take us to Ensenada and stayed the whole time with us at the orphanage, it was nice to have a male chaparone (sp?) We told him to pick the place so we went to eat at Los Arcos. It was a nice little Mexican Restaurant. We all enjoyed it. We got back home to the hospital around 8:00. My Mom was worried until she realized we had been safe and with a guy to protect us. That’s a big thing in our family. We usually go nowhere without a guy with us. And not usually some taxi driver we barely know… Jesus ended up coming in and staying awhile to meet my Mom and David.

He came for the past two days also. We use him now whenever we need a taxi driver. So yesterday, he took me home from the flea market and then we invited him to stay for dinner. While in the taxi on the way home yesterday we were talking a lot about the Bible. He was having me look up scriptures while he was driving and then I was trying to translate them into English. It amazed all of us who were in the Taxi with Jesus, because he kept saying to us that he was so hungry for the Word. He would thank the Lord and give God all the credit and glory for everything. It shocked us because you don’t see that too often in the states. Christians become to complacient and lose that fire that once was there. We aren’t hungry! Or at least I’ve found myself wondering why I am not as on fire for reading all the time, like I can’t get enough. Even while we were eating dinner, he didn’t shut his bible. He would take a bite and then turn his head to read more. I want to be like this. I challenge all of you to be hungry for God’s Word!

Still Alive!

I just wanted to do a quick post to let everyone know that I am still here! I've wanted to blog many times, but didn't get a chance. I have lots of things to talk about and some pictures I want to post also, it will just take time.

Quick Update on my Mom: Her cancer is doing good! Or should I say bad...It looks like the swelling is gone and her facial features all look good. Praise God! The one thing setting us back though is the "virus" we thought she had. It turns out she has what they call Montezumas Revenge. (Sp?) Normally people get it in Mexico from drinking bad water or from eating something bad. In my Mom's case, we think it was actually from something she ate in MO or on the plane. She does have parasites in her stomach though and that's whats keeping her sick. Since she is going to the bathroom so often she is getting very dehydrated. The doctor is very concerned about this. He now is keeping IV's in her all the time to replace all the liquid coming out. Please continue to pray for my Mom, since she is sick, she is also extremely weak. She can hardly walk, with help. The doctor suggested we stay a few more days...I'm not sure if we will or not though. By 8:00 tonight we will have our answer. We are waiting to see if anything gets better.

When I get more time I will blog about my great weekend! Hope all is well with all of you!

Another Update

HOLA HOLA HOLA
Today went by really fast. I’ve been trying to think over what I did all day and I really can’t think of much. It was an unproductive day I guess. My Mom woke up this morning though with an appetite. She was able to eat eggs, toast, cereal and oatmeal…I think. ☺ I was very happy to see that she was eating real food, not just liquids.

Today was supposed to be my Mom’s day off but she wanted to do some therapies. She started with Mag Ray and instead of them putting the lamp on her tumors they put it on her side. She was still complaining of pain. After 20 minutes of that therapy she had 20 minutes on the Spinalator. This one used to be my Mom’s favorite. Today when she did it, it hurt her really bad. She said everytime it got to her back it was so painful. So, after her time was up, she said she needed to rest, and couldn’t do anymore. So she slept a little and then started complaining that her shoulder hurt. It’s weird, once we get one thing under control, something else starts to hurt. She is never comfortable or happy. The joy is gone…in our whole family. I miss it.

For lunch today David wanted to do something special for the staff here. So he payed for us to get tacos for everyone. I was able to go with Oswaldo to the taco stand and we bought 30 tacos. These are huge tacos, but so good! It was a lot of fun watching them make the tacos. The guy was so fast and proficient. He would toss the beans up in the air and catch them with the tortilla and then add the salsa, guacamole and cilantro, all within like 5 seconds. RAPIDO!

David Ingrassano, the guy making the documentary, is here for the weekend. He came to do some interviews and also to see my Mom. The weekend should be a little better having some company! We are also looking forward to our visit with friends from California tomorrow. They are such an encouragement to me, they were the ones at the airport in San Diego when my Mom had her seizure.

I’m looking forward to going home and getting ready for Christmas. I can’t believe it is already that time of year. It’s strange because in August when my Mom was diagnosed they gave her one year, if they are right, it is hard to think that 3 months have already passed…That would mean only 9 left. Time goes by fast…………

Lots of Thoughts

There really isn’t that much news to talk about, but I need to write. It’s weird, sometimes I get in these strange moods and the only thing to get me out, is usually to write. That’s how I am now. I feel like I am emotionally drained. I don’t get like this too often, but this afternoon for some reason has been like this. Mandy and I have been taking turns to stay with my Mom and on my last turn out, I went down to reception to talk to Miriam. I think she could tell something was wrong, she asked if I was tired. I just told her that I was ready for my life to become normal again. She then had me come into the room with her and she gave me a big hug! It was strange I hadn’t cried at all, until she hugged me. It’s like I could let it all out. She just kept saying, this will help! It did help. ☺

My mom wasn’t so sick today, just tired. It was a beautiful day in Rosarito so I layed out in the sun with her today. She felt good sitting out there, but we had to come in for lunch. She still has no appetite, so for lunch she had a protein shake. Then she started complaining of her side hurting. She’s actually said it before, but was never in real pain. We then remembered that the day we got here, my Mom fell down in our room and hit her side and head and arm. So, we thought she could have possibly bruised her rib. So, I got the doctor and he came up to look at her. After looking and having her take deep breaths, he told me it was a strong possibility she cracked or fractured her rib. Tomorrow, she is getting an x-ray to see for sure. Even if she did fracture it, the only thing for her to do is rest. She is doing a good job of that now! He gave her a natural pain killer though, she is sleeping now, so I’m not sure if it is working.

I’ve been working a lot of the quilt for my Mom today. I figured instead of just sitting in the room while my Mom is sleeping, I should be doing something productive. I finished one of the blocks from down here and started on Dr. Quintana’s today. I learned something: It takes twice as long to take stiches out then to put them in! I started his, and got one line done and then realized I used the wrong color! He wanted green, not blue!

Tomorrow is my Mom’s last day for the chlorophyll and then on Friday will be her day of rest. We are excited to see how the ultrasound part of the treatment goes. My mom’s a little excited because she gets to be in a large bathtub! She really likes taking baths and in the hospital all they have are showers.

I’ve been wondering a lot lately if it is right the way I am feeling. I mean I know it can’t be right, but it’s hard for me to change. I love my Mom so much and I’m so glad I was able to come to Mexico, but it shouldn’t be a punishment for me to stay in the room with her all day. For some reason, it is feeling like that. I prayed that the Lord would give me joy today while serving my Mom, and I did have some this morning, but I think that is because I was pleasing myself at the same time as helping Mom. But I’ve noticed when I am just sitting with my Mom, I get bored and almost resent the time. All I think is, She’s sleeping, how will she know I am even here? I want to change this. I want to enjoy every minute with my Mom. And especially with my Mom, because I don’t know how much longer I will have with her. None of us really do, my situation just seems more obvious. Please pray for me, that I will be content in all situations and have joy in serving my Mom. Also that others around me will not count it a punishment to stay in the room.

Okay that is enough of my rambling!I have a tendency to go and go and go when I’m writing! ☺ I have also been thinking a lot about college. First of all the subject I have always not wanted to talk about. Everyone thought we were crazy because we’ve just said No to it. My dream is to get married and school my kids at home. Why would I need to go to college for that? Well, since my Mom has been sick, we’ve thought lots about learning about the medical field. My sister and I are both very interested in it. So, it was David’s idea to have me start soon with online courses in natural medicine. Yeah, I would like to, but I always question, Is it right? I guess as long as David thinks it is okay, it will be. I don’t know…Someone mentioned today that since I like to cook it would be smart for me to learn more of nutrition and take the medical approach that way. Maybe??? These are just all of my thoughts, none of it may happen. I’d rather just be married----that’s my biggest goal!

Well, it looks like my Mom is getting her x-ray today. So, this has to be it for today. The man will be here any minute and we have to get her downstairs. Please pray for my Mom, that her side stops hurting and that this virus will leave her!

Mexico Bonito

YEAH we are in Mexico now! Our flight seemed very fast and the ride was so smooth. After we got off the plane my Mom said it felt like 20 hours so I guess it just went fast for me? When we left yesterday morning there was frost on the ground. I was so surprised it would be so cold. I guess we left just in time, because it is still rather warm here. Although, last night I did have to put a sweater on, so maybe it isn’t as warm as I am thinking. ☺

Once we got here my Mom wasn’t feeling too good. I think flying really stresses her out and she worries about too many things. She had a little to eat for lunch and nothing for dinner. Then around 7:00 we all layed down to go to bed. We were wiped out. But at 9:00 David came in our room and said that my Mom had thrown up and was pretty sick. I couldn’t believe it. My mom had been complaining of a stomach ache, but I figured it was just stress. She was really sick though. After cleaning everything up and getting new sheets for the bed, we got to sleep about 10:30. The nurse last night was so nice. She cleaned up all the mess and didn’t think twice about it. I wish I could like her. I want to get to that point. But last night, I thought I was going to be sick just being in the room. She really is a blessing to us!

I woke up around 6:00 this morning and I hadn’t been woken up the whole night. So I figured my Mom had done okay. Thank God that she did. She didn’t throw up again, but was up going to the bathroom. She said she felt much better this morning though. Her legs are very weak today. She has fallen several times, not where she gets hurt though, it just scares her. So, she told me that she wants to be in a wheelchair for now. I guess she feels safer that way. I’ve tried asking her if when we eat if she will get out of the wheelchair and get into a normal seat, but she said,”Why do you want me to get out so bad?” And it’s not that I care, she just made a comment to me the last time we were here and she said, “Once I get into the wheelchair I will never get out.” I know this isn’t true, but this was her attitude. She wanted to do everything she could to not get into the wheelchair. Now she wants to be in there. It is less stress on her though, being in it. Before it would get her really worked up, knowing she had to walk all the way down to go eat. Hopefully this well help her with everything.
m
She is going to start her treatment today. It really isn’t much though for the first 4 days. All she does is take a pill. She stops all of her other supplements and different treatments. Then after 4 days she will have one day to rest and then start the 4 days of ultrasound treatment. From what I have heard, the results from this treatment are not super fast. We aren’t expecting to see a lot of progress while we are down here, but after a while they are hoping we will. Since they just started this treatment on patients they don’t know how long it will take.

Now my Mom is sleeping. She is trying to get as much rest as she can. I think sleep is good for her though. Maybe she will be stronger when she wakes up. ☺

Well, I guess that is all of my news now. Adios!

A Great Day!

Today has been such a GREAT day! My Mom woke up feeling good and talking so much! Praise God! It actually started yesterday, we had some company over and since then she has just been so happy and seems very alert. For the past few weeks, she has just sort of seemed out of it. Then last night after Tara left, she started singing, dancing, and laughing. She seemed so happy. I haven't seen her this happy for a long time, either. Then this morning after talking to Mrs. Martin, she said she would come stay with my Mom for a little while and Mandy and I could go shopping for a little while. When I told my Mom this she said, "Oh, I want to go too!" So, I called Mrs. Martin back and she was all for us ALL going shopping. So, we all got to go to the Outlet Mall and shop for awhile. It was a lot of fun! It was very good for my Mom to get out and interact with other people. I think she had fun also, except for the fact that I take too long picking out things. I guess I am a bad shopper. I take a long time to pick something out and then after I buy it, I feel horrible about spending the money. I usually get over it though.

The pictures I am posting were taken by Jonathan Myers in Kentucky. He was showing us some of them and I really liked them, so he let me put them up on my blog. They were taken in his front yard actually...I think. Hope you all enjoy them, I did.

Please pray for Robby, a man we met while in Mexico. His wife had cancer and wasn't doing too good while we were down there. So, a few days ago he emailed me and said that his wife passed away on Sunday and he is left with his two sons, 4 and 9. He said he is having a really hard time. It's hard for me to know what to even say to him. Although my Mom is sick and going through the same type of thing, I feel lost knowing what to say. He lives about 6 hours from us, I am hoping there will be something we can do to help. Please just pray that God will give him strength and that through all of this he will learn to seek the Lord only.

Tomorrow I am going to have a busy day! We are leaving Sunday morning and I am still not packed. I am almost done packing my Mom and David, but haven't even started mine. NOT GOOD! I'll have to spend some time doing that tomorrow and I am hoping to go shopping somemore tomorrow with my brother. We are praying that my Mom will have another GREAT day and will be able to go with us. She is looking forward to it. :)

My mom had a doctor's appointment today and he basically gave us two options. He can go with the aggresive approach and do chemo and radiation, or he can do his best to just keep my Mom comfortable. So, we are going with this approach. He has offered us hospice also, not because she is doing bad, but because it is safer that way. If we ever need help in the middle of the night, it will be easy to have help. Otherwise we would have to go to the Emergency Room. We didn't tell him we were going back down to Mexico, we aren't sure if he is for this alternative treatment or not. He told us that my Mom's cancer is terminal, but he doesn't believe that God can heal! I do! :)

I guess that is all of my news. Thank you for the continual prayers for my Mom, we really do appreciate it.

Love, Danielle

Just a Quiz!

I saw this on someone elses blog, and thought I would try it also. I'm not sure it is going to work though. We will see I guess. Just click HERE and take my quiz, "How well you know me?" Thanks!

Adios for now!
Danielle

On The Road Again...

On Tuesday, I think, we got a call from Mr. Myers and he invited us down to Kentucky for a visit. We were all excited. We love going there and seeing there family. Since my Mom got sick, the only place she has wanted to go, besides home, was KY. So, we were finally able to go. We packed and were ready to leave by Friday morning. Although it was a short trip we had a lot of fun. We decided that laughter is the best medicine, and we just aren't getting that at home. :) Being there, almost seemed to make all the problems go away, or at least lowered the stress. My mom was very happy being there.
On Sunday my Mom was up most of the day. We had church at the Myers' house. We listened to a cd of theirs of a missionary. This man had great faith. It really encouraged me. Lots of the questions I had about praying for healing with my Mom were answered. There was no doubt in this man's mind. What he was praying for had nothing to do with healing, but it was his assurance he had that God would provide and come through for him. I pray that one day I can the faith that man had. After church, my Mom layed down for a little while and then while we were sitting and talking in walked my Mom. I think we were all amazed. It was the first time she had gotten off the bed by herself in a long time. Praise God! She said she had been calling for us, we just couldn't hear her. Right before I started writing this she did it again at home. So, it seems that she is getting stronger!

While in Kentucky, I learned to make a different kind of pizza~so good! Our first day there, Hannah had made it and David loved it, we all did. So, our last day, she taught me to make it. We had a lot of fun, or at least I did. She is a great cook and I love learning from her. I also learned a few more songs on guitar. Usually the only time I learn more things is when I go to Kentucky. There aren't too many people around here that play, so they are my teachers! :) I don't have any pictures, just a few short video clips, but I'm not sure how to post those. I'm not sure he would want me to either...

Now for some news, we are going back down to Mexico. On Wednesday before we left, Dr. Donsbach from Mexico called us. He said that his new treatment had come out and he wanted us to come back down. He says he is 90 percent sure it will reverse my Mom's cancer. Thank the Lord! We still believe that any way she is healed it will be because of the Lord. He can use the doctors here, or in Mexico, or by prayers alone. So, we are going back down to Mexico this Sunday for about 13 days. We are praying God will use this treatment to work, but we will have to see. I dont' know much about it, but when I am there and I see it, I can let you all know. Others who have performed this treatment have been very succesful! Please pray for our return down there and for strength for my Mom. Thanks for all the prayers already.

Here are a few more pictures from Kentucky...

Whatever it Takes

This post has nothing to do with my Mom, just some thoughts...

Awhile ago, actually a long while ago, I was thinking about all the things I had changed in my life when becoming a christian. Some were easy, but others were just so tough. Then the Lord put it all into perspective for me. If I really wanted to marry a certain guy, it wouldn't matter what he wanted me to change, I would do it. Anything to please him, or to get the chance to marry him. Normally, I don't wear skirts all the time, and I don't wear a head covering. These are things I thought I would never do. But if the one I was going to marry wanted me to, I wouldn't care. Anything to please him because I would love him. I'd do whatever it takes to marry that person. So, why isn't it like that with God. These are just going to be random things, not things that apply to me. But if God said, No PG-13 movies, and no dating, and no public school, why do we get upset? Or even deeper, no arguing, loving our enemies, and not complaining. Instead of asking God, why, or why can't we, we should do whatever he says, because we love him. And one day we want to live with him. We should do whatever it takes, just like in marriage. It's hard for me to always remember this, I still question some things, like why shouldn't girls work, or why does sickness happen, but it ultimately doesn't matter. If this is what the Lord is giving me, I know I need it. And I need to be okay to change anything that he says. What's my ultimate goal? TO LIVE FOREVER WITH HIM!

I just thought I'd share that with all of you. I hope it makes some since. Sometimes I have all the thoughts in my head, but getting them onto paper is the difficult part. :)

Just an Update

I probably have lots to do right now, but I can't think of any of them, so I might as well blog...right? No, really today is a slow day. The house is clean, dinner is under control, and it's too cold to do anything outside. So we are just sitting here. Mandy is at David's Dad's house cleaning today, so it's just Mom and me, and she's resting right now.

She has been doing very good though. Yesterday we went to the doctor and she was out all day and still felt good. She was able to get her MRI done yesterday and her blood work. We are hoping to get some results today from the MRI. Her next doctor appointment isn't until next Friday, so we probably wont get a detailed report until then. We are praying though for really positive results. All the side effects from radiation seem to be fading away. Her strength is getting better and the control she had lots is coming back. It is so great to see my Mom feeling good and having joy! :)

This weekend we are planning on going to Kentucky to visit some friends. Kentucky is probably our favorite place to go, besides Mexico, so this will make my Mom really happy. As depressed and sick as she has been, everytime I ask what would cheer her up, she says going to Kentucky or seeing the Myers Family. You can imagined how pleased she was to find out we were actually going soon. We haven't seen their family since my Mom was diagnosed with cancer. It was actually April the last time we were there. Wow!

I finished the Old Testament last night, so tonight I am going to start my study of the New Testament in English and Spanish. It should be very interesting. I'm hoping it will help in someway. I imagine this time going throught he NT will take me much longer, what do you think?

I guess that is all of my news. When I find out some results I'll let you all know. Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement.

Danielle

Amazing Grace

As I started writing this, I've been listening to a song by Chris Tomlin. I guess it is a version of Amazing Grace. Here are the lyrics:

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine

I just love this song. The lyrics are very special to me! :)

Our weekend has been pretty good. Yesterday my Mom did wake up with a headache, but after two pain killers and 3 hours, the headache was gone. The pain pills both had side effects of drowsiness though, so my Mom was extremely tired. She had a tougher time walking also, because she was so tired. So, we decided yesterday to increase her steroids to 30 mg. instead of 24 mg. David was saying that in Mexico they were giving her the steroids through IV which makes her get all of it. But being at home she is taking it orally, and from what I've heard, some gets lost. That's the reason for increasing it to 30 mg. It worked though, My mom had no headache this morning and is feeling good. Praise God!

Yesterday we had some guys come over and chop firewood for us. It amazed me, because we didn't tell anyone we were low on wood or that we needed help, but Jake just noticed and called Stephen and Mr. Schuknecht to come and help. They ended up getting us two pick-up truck loads of fire wood. I think we will have enough for this winter now! We are so thankful to these guys.

Also, last night Lora and John Paul Tate came over to visit. It was nice to see them. I wish I could have seen Cheryl too! She is in Romania now though. She did send a gift for my Mom though. It is so special to my Mom. It is a sign that says, "God didn't promise days without pain, Laughter without sorrow, Nor sun without Rain, But he did promise strength for the day, Comfort for the tears, and Light for the Way" This sign was so appropriate for my Mom. Thanks so much Cheryl! It was really nice yesterday night to just laugh. Most things have just been so serious, these last few months. I mean, yeah, I do laugh, and things are funny, but last night topped it all! Just ask John Paul about his layers! :)

Today, I got back to doing some normal things. The last two days, dinner has been somewhat spontaneous. It turned out okay, but it wasn't really planned. So today, I made a menu for this up coming week and David went grocery shopping for me. It was difficult thinking of things to make though, I guess I have been "off work" too long. In Mexico they do all of that for us. Sometimes I think it would be so easy, if someone just made the list and I cooked what they planned. But that could get boring, never picking what you want to make. I don't know. I'll see how this week goes.

I guess that is all of my news. Please continue to pray for my Mom and that God will show me the truth. I've mentioned before about being confused. But I know the Lord will show me in his time about praying his will or asking for things. Can't wait to know! :)

Love, Danielle

Saying Good-Bye

The last few days have been such a turn of events for us. I was expecting another week and half in Mexico, but now we are already home. It's weird how things change so fast. The last two days we were in Mexico, my Mom was having really bad headaches. She also had lost control of her bladder. The doctor talked to me and said he wasn't sure if it was permanent or just a side effect from the Radiation. But we all agreed the radiation isn't doing any good, only harm. So, basically Dr. Quintana, said there was nothing else to do in Mexico at this time. I had written an email to many people explaining all of this and I mentioned that our last hope was gone. I need to clarify though, we were told before ever going to Mexico that it was our last hope. What I meant by all of it was that our last option was gone. We still have the Lord, and he is the best doctor. We could be in Mexico, Missouri, or China, God works anywhere. Lately, I think it has been really hard for me to totally trust the Lord because for some reason I feel like I've been let down. I know this isn't right though. God gives and takes away breath, we shouldn't expect any day. But I was just so sure she would be healed, and now we are being sent home, this didn't make since. I'm still really confused, I don't know what to think. I know I can't give up hope, but it isn't as easy to hold on to right now.(Mandy, My Mom, and Me)

My Mom doesn't know that we were sent home. She was just so happy to find out we were leaving. She has wanted to come home for so long now. Saying good bye was really tough for me. I am not sure when I will see them all again, and we have so many great friends down there now. I'll never forget any of them. :) Mexico will always be so special to me!

(Mucho Loco de la Cabesa)

At the airport in San Diego, our friends Art and Adele and their daughter Alyssa came to see us off. It was really nice to see them before we left. We had a little bit of time before we had to go past security so we decided to get a bite to eat. Well, while we were ordering, I went back to ask my Mom something and she was in the middle of a seizure. Her hand was bent up next to her face and her tounge and jaw were doing very weird things. She was shaking a little and her head was tipped. It was one of the scariest things for me. Everyone was staring at us because my sister and I were crying. Our friends were huddled over her and praying for her and withing 5 minutes she came out of it. She was just crying. I was still just so scared. I talked to David and the doctor, I didnt know what to do. What if this happend while we were on the plane? All of this showed me something though. My first reaction was to cry and then call the doctor or David. Why didn't I turn to the Lord? This is what I mean, my trust isn't fully in him. Oh, how I need to change this. But how? Prayer works, I saw that yesterday, I just wish I would have turned to HIM first. Well, my Mom ended up doing great on the flight. She actually seemed to have more strength after the seizure. She was really hungry and just wanted to eat.

We got into STL around 11:30 last night and then got home by 12:30. We were all exhausted I think. A friend of ours, Mrs. Tate, stayed the night to help, if there were any problems. She is such a great help to us. It ended up that my Mom only got up once in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and had no other trouble. It seems like the bladder problem she was having was only temporary. Praise God! She also woke up with no headache. I was just so amazed to wake up hearing this good news. We have started her on some seizure medicine, so now she is sleeping, the doctor told us it will make her drowsy. Other than that though, she feels great today. She is so happy to be home and with her friends and family. :)

I also wanted to say one more thing. I wrote earlier in a different post about God not wanting some to be crippled or sick, but after lots of thinking I have changed my mind. I thought that the sickness resulted from sin, that's what I've been told, but I thought of some friends and different family members. What sin would a little boy have commited to get diabetes? Or when a child is born mentally handicapped, that isn't from his sin or the way he lived his life. We accept all the blessings with no question, but when things go wrong we look for reasons. A friend sent me this scripture:
"So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and struck Job with loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself while he sat in the ashes. Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die." But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips. Job 2:7-10

So, I am sorry if I offended anyone, it was not my intention. I was wrong, a different friend was talking with me this morning and we were talking about the different ways God can get glory. I can't remember all of the scriptures. But the main three we talked about that we don't usually think about were through persectuion, sickness and even death. The verse about sickness is:

John 11:4 "When Jesus heard [that], he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby."

Here are some pictures from the last day!

Dr. Quintana's new baby boy, Emilio!